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Understanding

How can I explain my feelings?
How can I say I am sorry?
What do I need to explain I need
Some time to myself in order
To get over this brocken heart of mine?

I was hurt deeply by a close friend.
That friend soon become my worst nigntmare.
Gone is the trust I once had in her.
Gone is everything else I once held for her.

People try to help the situaton but als
All it does is make the it worse.
How can I explain the what the healing needs
To be done?

This is a evil cycle thats going around.
Very evil indede. One person wants this.
Another person wants this.
I am pulled in three ways.
I can only give one way to that person.

I don't know how to fix this problem in a respetfull
Manaor..Then again I dought I can.
This problem is too big for me to fix.
This problem hurt me so much I first must heal.

Too many times I have burst out in tears.
How do I explain my feelings to this matter?
Why do I feel the need to protect myself
In this situation?

I don't have answers to these questions.
I can only ask the people who hold me close
To only understand that I need time to heal.
That healing is going to be slow. That healing
Won't come in one day. That healing will be hard.
This healing must be taken one step at a time.

In order for me to forgive I must first forgive myself.
In order to this this I need time to think things over.
I need time to see what the true problem is.
Maybe in this poem there is too much I and not eough
We but listen to my words. Read my words.
Understand that I am hurting. Understand
There are other matters to this story that are not
Seen.

This is the reason as to why I act the way I do.
Please before you go all evil on me consider my words.
Understand me please. Understand where I am comming from...

I am asking too much. No one will ever understand me.