Sandi, you broke my heart. I loved you more than you could ever imagine and I should of told you that when you were here. You kept the beast in me calm, understood my pain, mended my broken heart and never asked for anything in return. The only thing you asked me to do- no begged me to do, was tell Chris everything that had happened. And I haven't kept that promise. I've told him somethings, not nearly the worst things, but i'll never be able to tell him everything. He's not you-he can't understand. For some dumb reason I'm hoping that if I don't tell him everything it'll bring you back. Take back what you did, and make everything ok again. Make me ok again. But it won't and I know it.
I just refuse to accept that you're gone. I'm spiraling downwards and you aren't here to catch me again... You were always saving me. Weather it was making me copy yor math homework so I didn't fail, helping me practice for chorus. Explaining why I needed to read MacBeth, even though i didn't want to then summarizing nearly all the seances so I could pass, because I "forgot" to read. We both knew it was a bunch off bullshit but you did it anyway. I never knew why you cared, but I got so used to your presence. Weather you were tag teaming with Adriana to do math class projects that i was to tired to even look at or holding me while i cried to you telling you what I'd gone through the night before. You never let me get close to the breaking point. Ever.
And as I get closer and closer I'm wishing more and more that you were here to save me from myself.
You knew all my secrets, I knew some of yours. I was a huge burden to you and I'm so sorry. I should of told you what you meant to me.
I'll never forget Crystal coming up to me, On July 28th and saying, "Jacqui I'm so sorry. I knew you were close to her." I remember yelling at her, saying that she had gone to far with lying and her trying to hug me as I pushed her away. I ran to the classroom with Mr. S and threw my books down. Ran to the office and waited with Crystal for Ms. Riffle. Who looked at me with that "I'm-so-sorry-but-its-true" look and i just broke down and cried.
Sandi, I've never said this to anyone but I knew from the moment i met you that you'd leave me and Jodie and Eri before we were ready. I knew what you really were. You're an angel and angels can't stay on Earth for to long. You needed to go back and help the gods. It was so obvious to me. From that smile to the constant love and happiness you oozed. Hell your hair looked like it belonged to an angel. If someone reads that and thinks I'm crazy I don't care. I know it's true.
I still dream of you. But instead of you being human I see you with those wings, your smile and your aura glowing around you. I wake up from those dreams and cry. Knowing I can't break my other promise to you.Knowing I'm going to have to wait to see you. Knowing that I never told you I loved you. And no matter how many time I write it, type it, say it to the sky, or think it, it won't change the fact that I never told you when you were here. Maybe if I write it a few more times that fact will change...maybe not but I can try.
I love you.
Sandi your my best friend.
I miss you.
Sandi, I'm not the same since you've been gone.
I love you.
Sandi, I cry everytime I think about how long it's been since I've seen you smile.
I'll never forget you.
Sandi, I'd do anything to see you right now.
I love you.
Sandi, I can't come and see you yet.
I miss you.
Sandi, I'm sorry for everything i did to hurt you.
I miss you. I love you. I'll never ever forget you.
Rest in Peace
Sandra Marie Tyler "Mills"
Sandi
My Angel
My Conscious
My Best Friend
I'll see you soon.
Rest in Peace, Sandi.
11/13/1990-07/25/2008
I'll never forget you.
I just refuse to accept that you're gone. I'm spiraling downwards and you aren't here to catch me again... You were always saving me. Weather it was making me copy yor math homework so I didn't fail, helping me practice for chorus. Explaining why I needed to read MacBeth, even though i didn't want to then summarizing nearly all the seances so I could pass, because I "forgot" to read. We both knew it was a bunch off bullshit but you did it anyway. I never knew why you cared, but I got so used to your presence. Weather you were tag teaming with Adriana to do math class projects that i was to tired to even look at or holding me while i cried to you telling you what I'd gone through the night before. You never let me get close to the breaking point. Ever.
And as I get closer and closer I'm wishing more and more that you were here to save me from myself.
You knew all my secrets, I knew some of yours. I was a huge burden to you and I'm so sorry. I should of told you what you meant to me.
I'll never forget Crystal coming up to me, On July 28th and saying, "Jacqui I'm so sorry. I knew you were close to her." I remember yelling at her, saying that she had gone to far with lying and her trying to hug me as I pushed her away. I ran to the classroom with Mr. S and threw my books down. Ran to the office and waited with Crystal for Ms. Riffle. Who looked at me with that "I'm-so-sorry-but-its-true" look and i just broke down and cried.
Sandi, I've never said this to anyone but I knew from the moment i met you that you'd leave me and Jodie and Eri before we were ready. I knew what you really were. You're an angel and angels can't stay on Earth for to long. You needed to go back and help the gods. It was so obvious to me. From that smile to the constant love and happiness you oozed. Hell your hair looked like it belonged to an angel. If someone reads that and thinks I'm crazy I don't care. I know it's true.
I still dream of you. But instead of you being human I see you with those wings, your smile and your aura glowing around you. I wake up from those dreams and cry. Knowing I can't break my other promise to you.Knowing I'm going to have to wait to see you. Knowing that I never told you I loved you. And no matter how many time I write it, type it, say it to the sky, or think it, it won't change the fact that I never told you when you were here. Maybe if I write it a few more times that fact will change...maybe not but I can try.
I love you.
Sandi your my best friend.
I miss you.
Sandi, I'm not the same since you've been gone.
I love you.
Sandi, I cry everytime I think about how long it's been since I've seen you smile.
I'll never forget you.
Sandi, I'd do anything to see you right now.
I love you.
Sandi, I can't come and see you yet.
I miss you.
Sandi, I'm sorry for everything i did to hurt you.
I miss you. I love you. I'll never ever forget you.
Rest in Peace
Sandra Marie Tyler "Mills"
Sandi
My Angel
My Conscious
My Best Friend
I'll see you soon.
Rest in Peace, Sandi.
11/13/1990-07/25/2008
I'll never forget you.
