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My heart feels pressure, it feels inpatient, it feels lost...
I miss Charles more than you can imagine. So many things remind me of him. Every night, before I go to bed.. I shed some tears. I portray myself as happy in the day, but reality is that I am torn apart. I never wanted him to leave my side, I never wanted to go one week without seeing his perfect smile. I never wanted to say goodbye. I wish I could have jumped on the train with him and he would take me away so we could live a life happily together. As I watched that train slowly roll away, I felt as if my heart was rolling away with it..
I miss him... I miss him... I miss him.

Truth is, I never felt like I understood the saying "you never know what you got till it's gone." But now I feel it. I had all the love in the world. The love of a father, love of a brother, love of the whole family, was Charles Anthony Parker.

Every morning I wake up for school and look to the small couch by the window, hoping he'd be sitting there waiting for me with a smile, greeting me with that sweet voice that I love. Looking at me happily with those beautiful eyes.

I go to school, no joy in the morning, and the day goes by so slowly, as he is in my mind all day. I walk to each class, my hand empty. Longing for his warm hand, making me feel safe when he holds me. Now this is my last year at school... and all I can do is go through it and deal with it.

"Please come back home".. those words I wanna tell him over and over until he comes back to me. He is so far away and I am stuck here waiting for my love to return... I miss you Charles. I love you.