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I`ve done things like this All the freakin time. Now I want to see some feedback!I`m not perfect I wanna know what I`m doing wrong!(Note:this is fiction people)

What exactly is life to the immortal? The greeks saw it as there gods;Zues,Hera,Apollo and so forth. As did the Egyptians,babylions,and romans,but to these cultures there was an afterlife to the mortal,from only hell to only heaven,to a little of both. Though none of them did believe that a regular human can live forever in the human world without divine intervention. Don`t get me wrong though,there is a way.

Chapter one
Demons,Angels,and Vampires, are the usual immortal crowd. They walk against the mortal on the sidewalk of life,sometimes bumping into them and making the mortals immortal. Sometime demons do a little more than that and make vampire babies,sometimes angels do a little more and make demons,and sometimes Vampires do a little more and make myths of themselves. Mortals call it divine intervention,immortals call it a mistake. In the sidewalk of life very few of them are immortal and even less are bumped. I am one of the few to be immortal,I am the princess of demons. In the sidewalk of life I have never bumped into a mortal and I have never accidently made someone immortal,I`m just a hooded figure walking against the norm,off to the side where I`m just a figure of your imagination. Though you still fear me and what I can do. Most demons do that strike fear into the very pit of mortals,and immortals hearts,though you don`t know if we exist or not.
Angels....What can I say about angels? Angels walk in the middle of the crowd often bumping into people and making there lives better. What little goody two shoes. I wish I could be like them;not worrying if you bump into someone you will derail they`re very lives. Not worrying if you killed that person. Those lucky little angels. I`ve always thought they we`re lucky,every since my human mother told me when my father was an angel. He bumped into my mother in what is now Los Angelas a few months later I was born and my father sentenced to be the devil. I don`t quite understand why either. He didn`t hurt my mother,it most likly had something to do with almost fully exposing the image of immortals to the whole city.
Way back then about 250 years ago my mother was a captured brittish woman with the Spainsh conquesidors,my father was just some angel on the port when he saw my mother. Unforantly he got carried away by my mothers beauty got married and I came along. The spainish conquesidors realized there was no way I could be a human;my red eyes,my pale skin,and most importantly I was growing rapidly. Thats when they first saw my father,they put two and two tougher. A few seconds later the angelic concle saw it and made him a ruthless,emotionless,killing machin. He killed all the conquesidors that knew,and took my mother and I to New york. A fresh start,no one knew us,and we didn`t bother to know them. My mother had taught me how to read,write,sew,and cook. What normal girls were taught at the time. My father taught me how to disguse my demonicness. He coated me with white rock all over my body,my skin formed into one with the rock,and so I became a living person trapped within a stony prison.
About thirty-five years later my mother died from plague. What is an immortals feelings about mortals? The realtionship is the key. My father and I deeply loved my mother and greatly enjoyed her cheerful attitude towards everything,including our little bloodlusts. When she did die my father were crying exessivly we both burried her in the port where he first saw her underneath a shady tree in a golden castcit. Then my father made it nessessary that we had to move to hell. Hell was nice,we had a big castle where the demons lived. The angelic concel did do my father a favor not putting the castle lower where the mortals were dieing forever. I was about 37 years mortal time and about 3.7 years immortal time and looked 25 mortal time. My father didn`t take any pride in ruling over hell as the devil,which he did for one hundred eighty four years when I was there.
At the one eighty fourth year of his rule I decided to try and bump into a nice mortal man and have a family of vampires with him. Though all did not go according to plan. It`s very rarer for immortals to run into humans but it`s even rarly seen as immortals who are not realated to run into each other and fall in love. We immortals,speicficly demons,are seen as a compassionless,mind set preditors bent only on distruction. Some demons are like that,and those are the demons who have been before seen by mortal eyes. All the compassionate demons who wish they weren`t demons hide themselves so humans won`t hurt us,and we won`t hurt humans.
Vampires... The killers of mortals,the blood thristy,the extrem. To most mortals something to make fun of,something to tell stories about,not heding the warnings. If you honestly knew what went on in a vampires mind you`d want to end your life,or sleep with them if your that kinky. I fell in love with one,I`ve felt his thoughts,I`ve hunted with him,I can hontestly say you will never know one because after nine years of marriage with him I still can`t say I know him. Vampires change themselves so humans,and other immortals can`t reconize them,so no one can fully now them. Vlad the Impaler for example,you can never know all about him,a true beacon in the vampire world for full
unknowingness,in fact most of you would say he is dead. Now I should say that some of the greek gods did in fact exist. All the personifacations. My husband is one,Thanatos,the greek personifaction of death,a vampire. He was actully a human once,in ancient greece,he said his memory was blurred and a snake bit him,and here he is,a vampire in all his glory.
My father never liked him,his distiny was to die,not a true immortal in his book. The bumped immortal are often looked down by pure immortals.

(Alright I have clooged brain right now so give me your opinions on that)