Sgt.Steel... Steven.....
A guy I met on Gaiaonline.com when it was go-gaia.com, when I was only young little stupid girl who seeks for a lot of cute guys... and I came cross Sgt.Steel.... who have amazing handsome picture of himself in his signature and that what attracted me... is his look.
Indeed, I was in relationship with Bear which you all already know who I was with.
I was 16... when I met Steven. Once I got to know him better...... and of who he is, what he does for life, everything... I fell for him when I was with Bear.... and repeatedly left Bear for him, but I always right now asked myself... why didn't I ended up went with him already?
He left to Military only after few months to a year knowing each other, he didn't even get to say his good-bye or farewall when he left to military..... I was really depressed to see him go.
Even though no matter how hard I've been trying to fall out of love with Steven after he left because I was with Bear and that he will be gone for so long.... and plus I believed that I will never get to talk to him again...
I wrote his name "Steven Sioma, I will always miss you." on my wall at old house where I lived when I met him.... Every night.. I always looked up at it and wonder how he is doing, and how his life is doing...
And to be honest, when there was war after 9/11 I instantly thought about Steve... "Is he going to war? Is he going to be shooting or.. doing something else beside shooting?"
So... I'll say.... on this exact day of June 22, 2008
I found out he was on Gaia most recent... and I was like "I need to get in touch with him again." Once I found out hes back, you have no idea how my heart reacted.... It just started to beating so fast then stopped.. then again beating so fast... then stop.
I just went for it and commented him....
Now we have been in touch with each other for almost three months now. And I told him that there is going to be Anime Convention coming up in Denver, Colorado.
He was very interesting to go there, and he said "I want to go there even if you're not going there"
"So you're actually going to come?"
"Yes."
So I was like. Okay I wanna go as well, I want to meet you so bad after these years....
So we set up to meet on 10th of September as soon as he arrives to the Marriott Hotel building where NDK Convention taken place.
Once he said "I'm here" I was like. O_O Already? Oh god. Oh god. Yeah I was very damn nervous to see him/meet him for first time... I was shaking so bad, just kept forgetting things I needs... so I just take my time get things together and I took off. Told mom that I'm on my way there.
And I stupidly parked at wrong building.. -____-; Hotel was like three buildings away from where I am. so I drove to hotel and he told me he was at "Convention Center" so I saw it where I parked.. And I walked in.. I didn't even see him, and suddenly.... I knew he was somewhere closer... my heart ended up beating so fast.... and I looked from my right shoulder.. and there he was.. holding a board saying "Hoi thar." and I just couldnt help it and just giggled and walk up to him and hug him... I usually dont hug a stranger that I never met in person, but I guess its just because I knew I loved him.
So.. I had difficult time writing... xD It was messy... and so we went to our hotel room... and we were taking out time to get comfortable.....
And to be honest.... when I first saw him with my own eyes.. I fell in love.
So... Being with him for 5 days at the hotel was the BEST day of my life... ever I ever had... EVER.
It was really worth it... and even though Steve hate drive this far but he texted me.. "It's far, I'm exhausted, and I don't wanna drive this far again, but this is worth it... to be able to see your beautiful face and hear your laugh."
On monday the 15th, we got a notice that we had 30 minutes until we can leave the hotel.. which was so unexpected.... I got really upset... and just got my s**t together, and just try to suck it up... and once we gave our "keys" back to the clerk... and drop my stuff off at my truck... I suddenly broke down in his arms, I wasn't even ready to be so far away from him. I just really want to stay in his arms.... his big arms. And be able to smell him.....
So we went back in and went to lobby to get directions for him to get back from hotel... and we discovered that his car was towed.
We went back in and asked clerk for the phone number to contact the tow company.
They were going to call him back so we went to my truck.....
He said: Just so you know babe..... this isnt goodbye, this isnt farewell.... this is just.. "Talk to you later"....
I said: I'm sory if I got too emotional..... I am actually not ready to let you go home.... I definietly know this isn't a good bye... I just dont want to be so far away from you.
He just suddenly held me in his tight embrace while I cried in his arms.
He said: I know Andi.... and I feel the same way..... but please..... I know how hard this is... but the last thing I want you to feel is sarrow. Be glad we had this the chance to do this, be happy we will have the chance to do it again..... and the most of the all....that we love each other...... and its the most important.....
I said: I know..... I am really glad to be having this chance with you..... I really am. This is the best... I mean the bestest time I ever had in my life.... ever. I am really glad I get to be with you for only 5 days....but... just dont want to be so far away from you.... because I'd rather to be in your arms than trying to hug the air thinking you're still with me..... but this..... is what I'll be very willing to wait for an year to be in your arms again.... I am going to be waiting for you... Steve.... don't forget this.... I really love you.... so much.... don't ever forget that.. ok?
He said: Andi....... I could never forget you... or this.. ever. And I'll be waiting too.... I'll wait for as long as it take.....
I caught him crying... He isnt emotional kind of guy... but it was good to see him cry so I know that he is actually meant it.. and that he is actually in love with me.... and he have seen me crying plenty of the times back in the hotel.... so we ended up went off to get to his car to get it back.... And I discovered that it wasn't so far away from my house....
So I texted my mom to let her know that I'm bring him home with me for a night.
And once my parents met him... and talk to him.. they both completely in love with him, and that they felt so comfortable with him.....And I was surprised enough that my stepdad, Bill was completely fine with him sleep with me... he never letted Bear or any other guys sleep with me in same bed... but Steve? "Nah, I'm fine, he can sleep over and he can sleep with Brandi."
I was so shocked, but that shown that they really like him a lot.
And even Baby, she loved him so much, she kept goes to him for attention.. and she even laid ontop of his chest and just purring her lungs off... she usually always run away from any of guys I bought home....
And just today... on 16th about 1:30pm, he left to be on his way back home... I tried to suck it in not to cry and just to let him see me smile for one last time in person and kiss, hug, and holding my hand... and I even took one long good sniff of him... even if he left his shirt and shorts here... for me... to smell on while he is so far away fromme.
He also told me this before he left... he'd try to come back for christmas to be with me again.... I'm really glad to hear that.... but only if they're going to let him to have few more days off to visit his parents in Michinagn as well....
.... And I've been spending three hours and STILL crying about him being gone.
And smelling his shirt that he slept in over here....
I miss him a lot already.
I think I really love him so much.... Been known him for so many years and.... I still love him too much not to love him....
I wish I could go to AZ with him instead of staying here...... God... I miss him... so much....
but don't get me wrong.. even if I'm crying to the fact hes away now....
But I'm really happy to have this chance to be with him for real... in his arms, to be able to kiss him, and to have my love for him.....
I'm definietly look forward to see him again soon.
No matter how far we are right now.... I'll always keep a room for him until the year of his military is over.., and when hes moving here... I'm definietly going to live with him and be his forever.
This is the love I've been looking for. I thought I've been in love before, but.... Steve..... Spending more than 4 years loving him even if I don't even get to see him/talk to him for 3 years.... And when I saw him for first time... .It gotten stronger.
Steven.. if you ever read this... I really love you... and I will never forget our times together... Ever. I'm really happy that I get to have chance with you, and even if things ended up go different path and will not happen in a year... I'll still love you.... like I have been for three years..... While going through so many guys to love. I think you're the one for me. Even if I only have been with you for 5 days.
We're not even in relationship.... and we're jus love each other so much.... and I never fell so hard for anyone like you in 5 days..... actually 6. You're the first.. and you're the guy I actually cried over a lot after couple of days. But in good way anyways... I just wish you're still by me.... and have your arms around me.... and feel your lips on my cheek... or my neck... and nuzzling your stubble-ish cheek against mine.... and looking into my eyes with your beautiful blue eyes.... and be able to cuddle with you in bed... It going to be so hard to wake up realizing you're not next to me anymore. Which I know you will feel the same.....
I really love you so much Steven.....
Dont forget that.......
Your truly love,
Lillith
A guy I met on Gaiaonline.com when it was go-gaia.com, when I was only young little stupid girl who seeks for a lot of cute guys... and I came cross Sgt.Steel.... who have amazing handsome picture of himself in his signature and that what attracted me... is his look.
Indeed, I was in relationship with Bear which you all already know who I was with.
I was 16... when I met Steven. Once I got to know him better...... and of who he is, what he does for life, everything... I fell for him when I was with Bear.... and repeatedly left Bear for him, but I always right now asked myself... why didn't I ended up went with him already?
He left to Military only after few months to a year knowing each other, he didn't even get to say his good-bye or farewall when he left to military..... I was really depressed to see him go.
Even though no matter how hard I've been trying to fall out of love with Steven after he left because I was with Bear and that he will be gone for so long.... and plus I believed that I will never get to talk to him again...
I wrote his name "Steven Sioma, I will always miss you." on my wall at old house where I lived when I met him.... Every night.. I always looked up at it and wonder how he is doing, and how his life is doing...
And to be honest, when there was war after 9/11 I instantly thought about Steve... "Is he going to war? Is he going to be shooting or.. doing something else beside shooting?"
So... I'll say.... on this exact day of June 22, 2008
I found out he was on Gaia most recent... and I was like "I need to get in touch with him again." Once I found out hes back, you have no idea how my heart reacted.... It just started to beating so fast then stopped.. then again beating so fast... then stop.
I just went for it and commented him....
Now we have been in touch with each other for almost three months now. And I told him that there is going to be Anime Convention coming up in Denver, Colorado.
He was very interesting to go there, and he said "I want to go there even if you're not going there"
"So you're actually going to come?"
"Yes."
So I was like. Okay I wanna go as well, I want to meet you so bad after these years....
So we set up to meet on 10th of September as soon as he arrives to the Marriott Hotel building where NDK Convention taken place.
Once he said "I'm here" I was like. O_O Already? Oh god. Oh god. Yeah I was very damn nervous to see him/meet him for first time... I was shaking so bad, just kept forgetting things I needs... so I just take my time get things together and I took off. Told mom that I'm on my way there.
And I stupidly parked at wrong building.. -____-; Hotel was like three buildings away from where I am. so I drove to hotel and he told me he was at "Convention Center" so I saw it where I parked.. And I walked in.. I didn't even see him, and suddenly.... I knew he was somewhere closer... my heart ended up beating so fast.... and I looked from my right shoulder.. and there he was.. holding a board saying "Hoi thar." and I just couldnt help it and just giggled and walk up to him and hug him... I usually dont hug a stranger that I never met in person, but I guess its just because I knew I loved him.
So.. I had difficult time writing... xD It was messy... and so we went to our hotel room... and we were taking out time to get comfortable.....
And to be honest.... when I first saw him with my own eyes.. I fell in love.
So... Being with him for 5 days at the hotel was the BEST day of my life... ever I ever had... EVER.
It was really worth it... and even though Steve hate drive this far but he texted me.. "It's far, I'm exhausted, and I don't wanna drive this far again, but this is worth it... to be able to see your beautiful face and hear your laugh."
On monday the 15th, we got a notice that we had 30 minutes until we can leave the hotel.. which was so unexpected.... I got really upset... and just got my s**t together, and just try to suck it up... and once we gave our "keys" back to the clerk... and drop my stuff off at my truck... I suddenly broke down in his arms, I wasn't even ready to be so far away from him. I just really want to stay in his arms.... his big arms. And be able to smell him.....
So we went back in and went to lobby to get directions for him to get back from hotel... and we discovered that his car was towed.
We went back in and asked clerk for the phone number to contact the tow company.
They were going to call him back so we went to my truck.....
He said: Just so you know babe..... this isnt goodbye, this isnt farewell.... this is just.. "Talk to you later"....
I said: I'm sory if I got too emotional..... I am actually not ready to let you go home.... I definietly know this isn't a good bye... I just dont want to be so far away from you.
He just suddenly held me in his tight embrace while I cried in his arms.
He said: I know Andi.... and I feel the same way..... but please..... I know how hard this is... but the last thing I want you to feel is sarrow. Be glad we had this the chance to do this, be happy we will have the chance to do it again..... and the most of the all....that we love each other...... and its the most important.....
I said: I know..... I am really glad to be having this chance with you..... I really am. This is the best... I mean the bestest time I ever had in my life.... ever. I am really glad I get to be with you for only 5 days....but... just dont want to be so far away from you.... because I'd rather to be in your arms than trying to hug the air thinking you're still with me..... but this..... is what I'll be very willing to wait for an year to be in your arms again.... I am going to be waiting for you... Steve.... don't forget this.... I really love you.... so much.... don't ever forget that.. ok?
He said: Andi....... I could never forget you... or this.. ever. And I'll be waiting too.... I'll wait for as long as it take.....
I caught him crying... He isnt emotional kind of guy... but it was good to see him cry so I know that he is actually meant it.. and that he is actually in love with me.... and he have seen me crying plenty of the times back in the hotel.... so we ended up went off to get to his car to get it back.... And I discovered that it wasn't so far away from my house....
So I texted my mom to let her know that I'm bring him home with me for a night.
And once my parents met him... and talk to him.. they both completely in love with him, and that they felt so comfortable with him.....And I was surprised enough that my stepdad, Bill was completely fine with him sleep with me... he never letted Bear or any other guys sleep with me in same bed... but Steve? "Nah, I'm fine, he can sleep over and he can sleep with Brandi."
I was so shocked, but that shown that they really like him a lot.
And even Baby, she loved him so much, she kept goes to him for attention.. and she even laid ontop of his chest and just purring her lungs off... she usually always run away from any of guys I bought home....
And just today... on 16th about 1:30pm, he left to be on his way back home... I tried to suck it in not to cry and just to let him see me smile for one last time in person and kiss, hug, and holding my hand... and I even took one long good sniff of him... even if he left his shirt and shorts here... for me... to smell on while he is so far away fromme.
He also told me this before he left... he'd try to come back for christmas to be with me again.... I'm really glad to hear that.... but only if they're going to let him to have few more days off to visit his parents in Michinagn as well....
.... And I've been spending three hours and STILL crying about him being gone.
And smelling his shirt that he slept in over here....
I miss him a lot already.
I think I really love him so much.... Been known him for so many years and.... I still love him too much not to love him....
I wish I could go to AZ with him instead of staying here...... God... I miss him... so much....
but don't get me wrong.. even if I'm crying to the fact hes away now....
But I'm really happy to have this chance to be with him for real... in his arms, to be able to kiss him, and to have my love for him.....
I'm definietly look forward to see him again soon.
No matter how far we are right now.... I'll always keep a room for him until the year of his military is over.., and when hes moving here... I'm definietly going to live with him and be his forever.
This is the love I've been looking for. I thought I've been in love before, but.... Steve..... Spending more than 4 years loving him even if I don't even get to see him/talk to him for 3 years.... And when I saw him for first time... .It gotten stronger.
Steven.. if you ever read this... I really love you... and I will never forget our times together... Ever. I'm really happy that I get to have chance with you, and even if things ended up go different path and will not happen in a year... I'll still love you.... like I have been for three years..... While going through so many guys to love. I think you're the one for me. Even if I only have been with you for 5 days.
We're not even in relationship.... and we're jus love each other so much.... and I never fell so hard for anyone like you in 5 days..... actually 6. You're the first.. and you're the guy I actually cried over a lot after couple of days. But in good way anyways... I just wish you're still by me.... and have your arms around me.... and feel your lips on my cheek... or my neck... and nuzzling your stubble-ish cheek against mine.... and looking into my eyes with your beautiful blue eyes.... and be able to cuddle with you in bed... It going to be so hard to wake up realizing you're not next to me anymore. Which I know you will feel the same.....
I really love you so much Steven.....
Dont forget that.......
Your truly love,
Lillith
Community Member
It seems that you have had your bouts with bad luck and what not, but still tried to keep your head up in the process. Which is something only a strong person can do.
Then reading your latest entry about meeting Steven and the pain of having to let go... it made me sad for you. But hopefully you will get your happy ever after and live a long happy life together.
Hang in there, good things come to those that wait biggrin