> >Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital.
> >Please select from the following options menu:
>
> >If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
> >If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
> >
> >
> >If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
> >
> >
> >If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the
> >line so we can trace your call.
> >
> >If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the
> >Mother Ship.
> >
> >
> >If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell You
> >which number to press.
> >
> >
> >If you are manic-depressive, hang up.
> >It doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy
> >anyway.
> >
> >If you are dyslexic, press 9-6-9-6.
> >
> >
> >If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the
> >beep or after the beep. But please wait for the beep.
> >
> >
> >If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
> >If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
> >If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
> >
> >If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. Our operators are too busy to
> >talk with you.
> >
> >
> >If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down
> >and cry. You won't be crazy forever.
> >
> >If you are blonde, don't press any buttons. You'll just mess it up.
> >
> >This coming week is National Mental Health Care week.
> >You can do your part by remembering to contact at least one unstable person
> >to show you care.
View User's Journal
3
 |
