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Entry : Time and again

I'm losing hope. I think I'm going to break it off with my girlfriend. She's to fragile and I don't want her hurt. I'm just that way. I hate people in pain. If I can stop if ahead of time, I will. I don't want others to feel what I am going through. I feel so lousy right now. I think I love my best friend a ton, but they don't really love me back. How can I live with that? I like my girlfriend enough to spare her from me at the moment. I'm..well...I have urges again. I'm heading down the path I started. I can't allow myself to continue. I feel the urges and they are super strong. Thank God i have coping skills. I am afraid though I want to spare my girlfriend of the trouble I'm about to become. I love her to death. She's really sweet. But my heart longs for something else and that something is dangerous. My depression is back and its bound to stay for awhile. I refuse to hurt her. And since I am probably making my friend roy hurt, I think it will be best if I just left him alone as well. I don't know. Well yeah


Poem:

Can this broken heart be fixed
Can I ever finally miss
Can the truth reveal my eyes
When everything I love eventually dies
Can I ever feel you near
When all my heart is dead I swear
Can we ever be as one
When the battle was already won
Can I confess my love to you
When all I feel is pain so true
Can I ever smile in joy
When I am simply a dangling toy
Can I ever hide in dark
When my whole life is a playful park
Can I leave this dpression behind
When everything I have is alined
Can I ever find this true
For my like is a lie with you
Can I ever make happy
When all I am is too crappy
Well I know this and I know its true
I will always never be there for you

Well..Yeah