I want one.
emo
Hold on people, I'm going to be emo for a moment.
Here it comes:
I want a baby, but no matter what I do I can't have one.
I won't go into the details but my womb is a barren waste land.
-sigh-
My fiance, is no great help in this, he could care less either way.
But me, Oh, it means everything to me.
You ever just feel like you were born to do something?
Well, I feel like I was born to be a mother.
Now, I know what you're thinking, "You're only 18, why do you want a kid NOW?"
See that's the thing, I can just feel it in my bones.
My cousin just had her first baby, he's beautiful by the way.
I'm happy for her, but at the same time I hate her.
On to the point: When I take care of that baby or any baby, I just feel...
I dunno, elated, amazing, like this is my purpose for life.
It's not something I want to do, it's something I need to do.
So, I've been off the pill for a year now.
Guess what?
No baby.
I don't get it, I mean what can I be doing wrong, it's like I try everything suggested by doctors, books, websites, ect.
Nothing.
My fiance refuses to have himself checked.
mad
So here I am, every month my aunt Flo comes to visit and I find myself drowning in tears and depression, if fact it's why I'm up tonight at 2am.
I'm young, I'm healthy.
What could be the problem?
gonk gonk
I just want to bawl my eyes out all the time.
People have so kindly suggested a series of treatments, all that range in the 25k dollar area.
Yeah right.
I'm going to try for a few more months and then on to plan b.
Clomid.
Yay, I can have PMS symptoms all the time and possible if and when I do get pregnant, have twins, triplets, quadruplets.
Perish the thought.
Everyone keeps saying, Just relax, it'll happen.
But they're not going through what I am and therefore don't understand.
I can't talk to other women with this same problem because there in there 30s and the only advice they have for me is WAIT.
I don't want to wait.
The longer you wait, the lower your chances become, not to mention, I want to be able to keep up with my child when they're a toddler.
Plus, I'll be young enough to keep up with my grandchildren too.
I really want a baby.
Maybe one day.
Community Member
Sure im only 17, nearly 18, so I know that its probably not the best thing 4 me to want a baby so badly, not to mention my boyfriend and I r still working out differences we have.
And I no he doesnt want a baby just yet, he has all these dreams of being something big, thing is, if he follows them, ill never get what I want.
I haven't gone off my pill, but i just feel like Im repecting everyone elses wants but my own.
I no my friend had a baby at 15, same as you, I was so happy for her, but rather than hate, I severly envied her.
It's not fair, I wont claim I no wat your going through, cuz I haven't tried for a baby yet. We've had sometimes where accidents would happen and I hoped I would fall but no.
And I tell my boyfriend everything, Id feel like the worst person in the world if i tricked him.
Your not alone I guess is my point, I cant give any advice, just maybe check yourself with a doctor, male sure theres no problems with ovaries or anything.
If its something within you, its most likely a doctor could give you antibiotics.
And hey, tell your fiancee how much it means to you, and if he still doesn't really care, his being really disrespectful to you.
I wish you luck none the less.
I hope you can find some happiness in a little bub one day.