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open letters to the stupid people who bothered me this week
User Image dear girl who PMed me about a post i made last year,
thank you for getting mad at me when i didn't understand what your vague comment was about. i post a lot, a whole lot. the last page of my post history only has stuff from june 19th of this year. please to be looking at the time stamp! they exist for a reason. and since you were such an awesome person you get to be on my ignore list!

no love,
kage
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dear morbidly obese self-entitled brat,
this is a place of business. i work here. when i ask you to stop harassing the chinchilla you damn well better stop! yes, pounding on the glass makes him do back flips but that is not a good thing! you are going to give him a heart attack. yelling to your mom "this lady is trying to tell me what to do" made you a grade A a*****e. you've accomplished a lot for a ******** 10 year old. i bet you bully your classmates but your mother only sees you as a perfect angel and blames everyone else for your problems.

and dear mother of the MOSEB,
i see exactly where you son gets it. you are a MOSEB too. thank you for barreling past me like a freight train and knocking the stock out of my hands and off the shelf at the same time. thank you for that death glare you gave me instead of saying "excuse me" or "i'm sorry" and ESPECIALLY for rolling your eyes at me and telling your son to ignore me.

no love to either of you,
kage
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dear noob who called me a b***h for not giving you gold,
******** YOU! ******** you in the a** with a pineapple! i don't owe you anything. you better grow the ******** up and stop thinking the world exists only to serve you.

as always, no love from yours truly
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dear coworker who closed the night before i opened on my own for the first time,
thanks so much for doing a half assed job on your closing duties. the animals really appreciated going with out food and water or being left with dirty water and rotting fruit/ veggies all night. it was really nice of you since i'm new and all and don't really know what i'm doing. oh yes, thank you for also blaming the loss of the house gecko on me! you don't know it yet but they hired me to replace your lazy a**.

enjoy not knowing your days are numbered!
- kage
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dear grim reaper of fish lady
,
if you recently had 16 fish die at once wouldn't you think there was something wrong with your tank? please to be paying close attention while i edjumacate you with big scary words about how a fish tank is an ecosystem! you can not have more fish until we deem you tank safe! don't be so shocked that we care about the living breathing pain feeling fish. i know your son wants more fish but you know what? i'm not going to give fish a death sentence to keep him happy. take this as an opportunity to teach him about responsibility. when you have a pet it is your responsibility to keep it alive, to treat it with care! fish may not be cuddly but that doesn't mean they're unfeeling disposable items. go play with a virtual pet if that's what you want.

absolutely no love at all, you heartless skank,
kage
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