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Yeah, I haven't written in a long time. Yeah, I haven't gotten on in a long time. There's no real point in writing this jounral, other than to just write it. Writing journals used to make me feel better.
It's the 4th. Hum, I'll be spending more time with my familiy. Hmm.. I haven't been drawing either. Well, I drew one drawing. Tike. (TEE-kay) Bt I haven't ripped it from my sketchbook and scanned it in yet.. I want to a little. Then again, there's no real point.
I've been sleeping a lot. And dreaming a lot. I've been playing games and pretty much closing off the people I care about. I feel really bad. Really really bad. And people keep trying to make me feel better but it doesn't help much. Not at all, really.
I got a book in the mail two days ago. I read it in a few hours. It was supposed to be a summer reading book for next years english class. The Five People You Meet In Heaven. It made me cry a lot. It was so sadly sweet. I want to read it again.
The other day I went out with my mom, Rachel, and Jim (mom's soon-to-be-husband) to buy flowers. Jim planted new flowers in our garden and I got a plant to hang on the porch. It has simple, small, purple flowers. I really liked the color. And now I'm in charge of keeping it alive. If they die, I might cry xD
Yesterday I took out the trash and stood on the porch to just watch the outside. As I was standing there, I heard some strange squak come from the street and I saw a little bird hopping around in the road. I thought the noise it was making was strange, and it was hopping, not flying, so I ran out into the street to see what was up. It was a baby bird. It had no tail feathers and its head was covered in baby chick fuzz. It was kinda ugly, but still so cute. I watched it for a moment until it got into the grass and out of the street, and then the mom or dad bird came along and gave it some food. I was glad that the parents were there at least. If they hadn't come, I proably would have gotten mama and picked it up and taken care of it. Of course then it wouldn't hae learned to fly. I'm not a good bird parent.
I just got a toy from a cereal box. It's the Joker from one of the batman movies or whatever. And it doesn't do anything but sit there and glare. Evily. If that's a word. Evil-y. But it's mine. >x>
I feel like saying sorry until I literally can't say it anymore.
Uhm, maybe I'll write more often. I don't know yet. Everything is kinda.. mixed up now. And it's my fault. I think. On the 30th, I'm flying out to visit my father. Before then, I have to get my wisdom teeth taken out. And I also need to battle my mother about a desicion that I want to make for myself, but that she doesn't want to give me. Of course, I was following her before, but she keeps changing her mind. And every time she changes her mind, she has stange, new reasons for doing it. At any rate, she's angry that I want to make a decision for mysef. And she told me that it is her desicion. But it really isn't. It makes me mad thinking about it. Gah.
I know I know I have no right at all to say this, but I'm tired. Really tired. And I really wish there was a restart button for life. I'm hating myself for the past few weeks. I want to go back to my last save point. And fix everything that way.
Tike-kun. (TEE-kay) He's a mama's boy. And now he wears emo jeans. But he isn't emo DX Darnit Morgan, can't you make one simple character? ....Why did I choose emo jeans? And his claws blend in with his wings. Darnit. Again.
 bittersweet93 · Fri Jul 04, 2008 @ 07:28pm · 0 Comments |
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