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I know you ALL have your share of dysfunctional families, and I would stand by and let you complain away while I was bottling up my own complaints. But quite frankly, I need to let it out. Please know that this is not a competition post, or anything like that. I just need to rant. Chances are you won't read this anyway.
First: The Outer Family
This does not go out to every single member, but by golly it goes to most. I am sick of being left out of everything. Okay, so you go to everyone else's high school graduation, but when my brother and I graduate...no you forget about it. So instead, my dad's family who is hundreds of miles away fly in to see us walk the stage. Sure, okay. Blame mom for not telling you we were graduating, even though I sat by her on the phone when she was telling you when it was. I'm never invited to anything any of you do. Sure, i'd like to visit once in a while. Thanks for not asking. When I impose myself on you, i'm ignored. Maybe I don't want to hang out with a bunch of people who drink for a hobby anyway..but it hurts. None of you are coming to my wedding. That hurts, too. You give excuses, but you just don't want to go. But for some reason, expect me to return the wedding dress to you.
Second: Dad
Gawd, I love the man, but he really hurts me sometimes. I inherited my anxiety and pessimism from him. The man works hard every day to bring home money. Unfortunately that money barely feeds us or gives us shelter. He complains all the time about how "poor" we are. Can't afford good groceries that we buy once every two months, so we all get fast food because it's cheaper. He bitches about that, bitches about money, bitches about my good-for-nothing brother, bitches about everyone's health, bitches about mom and her staying in bed all the time, bitches about life, always talks about him killing himself all the time. I'm sick of it! When I was working, I bought the groceries, but I can't buy them anymore cause i'm leaving. Just today he said "OKAY if I buy groceries, then I can't pay the mortgage!". I deal with this stuff all day every day. And I feel so freaking useless.
Third: Mom
Okay, so you're depressed. You have bi-polar disorder. You're seeing a counselor for your woes. Nothing wrong with that, except it keeps you from doing anything else but sleeping and picking weeds from the lawn outside. You can't hold a job, not your fault. I understand, but it really puts a strain on everything. The house is a disaster..and it's been that way for ohh eight years. I try to help, I do tasks here and there..but I don't know what to do with the mess! It's all your stuff! You can't use your disorders as a crutch. You have to get up and do things. I can't do it all on my own..especially cause my useless brother does nothing but suck up food and electricity.
Fourth: Twin Brother-Ricky
GET OFF YOUR F***ING a** AND DO SOMETHING YOU a*****e!
YOUR FAMILY IS FALLING DEEPER IN TO DEBT AND YOU WON'T GET A JOB!
Fifth: Me
What can I say? I'm a lazy girl who tries to change her ways but is completely discouraged from doing so. I worked. I didn't use the money for my own purposes, though. I had to help pay bills and buy groceries. I'm always so sick. I have problems with my feet and back. I suffer chronic headaches and anxiety. I could cry every night. I'm afraid of asking for materialistic things.
I'm glad i'm leaving everyone behind.
 dolls in stitches · Thu Jun 26, 2008 @ 11:15pm · 0 Comments |
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