Thinking is the worst thing you could do.
It's almost like your thoughts are not yours at all.
You wonder if it's over,
But you don't want to believe it.
You want to SCREAM but you hold it in.
You fall apart but NOONE notices.
You long for someone to understand...
It just doesn't seem like they ever will.
I have been in situations that you all have.
I feel like I live a lie.
An eternal joke played on me..
Always being talked about behind my back.
These words they hurt as much as any dagger.
My emotions running free and wild.
Anything can set me off now..
Unexpected moods where I become depressed.
I cry.
I scream.
I think of murder...suicide..happiness.
I cry just like anyone else..
I think of situations that would ruin me.
I think of the things that are told to me on a daily basis
that are lies.
Things that ae told to me by people I care about.
These lies circle me like a scavanger picking off the pieces of me that are slowly falling off.
These last few weeks...months.. I have been so unstable..
I don't believe the people that tell me things..
I don't believe in myself.
I don't believe anymore.
Life is pouring out of me, and soon I will be gone.
I think.
I think what I would do.
I think of what I would do if I lost a person close to me.
I think of what I would do if I died,
If I was cheated on,
If I cheated.
If life turned me around.
If life just ended.
Can't I die now?
 Father Fluff · Wed Jun 04, 2008 @ 05:19pm · 1 Comments |
