|
Never good enough.............
It seeems like all i do and however hard i try im never good enough.
It seems like im always putting on a fake happy mask when on the inside im so ******** up.........It just feels like when i pass by someone im merly in the shadow of someone greater. And i know people dont usually feel this way.......but...........i just feel..........like im just dead inside. Im always pretending to be so happy and smiling its just like putting make-up over a bruise that will never heal. The real me is someone who is too afraid to come out of her shell, or atleast thats how it feels. I feel like someone is always trying to cage me, tame me, hurt me or find all my faults. And all i have to say, is that i just cant care anymore. I just feel so..........nothingless........apathetic...........numb............
No mater what i do or how i try to be happy, there's always a stroke on thunder to keep me in within a boundery.
It feels like.......................well........it hurts............to be numb.....hurts.........if that makes any sence.
Its hurts when your the only one who came from a different dad and not to mention your the youngest.
It hurts when youre mom talks about you like trash because your not liek everyone else behind your back.
It hurts when she says "She's just like her father"
it hurts because i know my mom hated my dad, he was an alchoholic navy man who couldnt help but sleep with multiple women then decide to leave out of nowhere, swear to me he loved my then drive off and never even call, e-mail or anything for the next 9 years of my life.
It hurts when your own brother, says that your not like the rest of us, that your too quiet too much of this and too little of that.
It hurts when you just cant be yourself.
It hurts when you cant trust your own granparents as a safe haven because theyve done horrible things to you.
It hurts when after all the pain and sorrow that you dont have enough sanity to feel anything anymore
It hurts to feel numb
I know O so many other people hat feel Numb, and i like them most likley......just want someone to take my hand, accept me for who i am, and pull me into the light...and into the good things
But in this world, i guess there are no good things................except for a few good people that help you to give an occasional heartfelt smile and millions upon millions of laughs.
I can thanks people i know persoanlly and i can thank two main people i dont know personally but know through kind words and virtual actions that they are a source of light in this world.
All i want
Is to feel something
Other than hurt and regret, pain and sorrow and feeling never good enough.
Really, i just need one solid foundation i can count on that once i feel lie im safe will collapse ontop of me.
.............................................Right now........i just cant find my way out of all the debris...............
Numb by linkin park
i'm tired of being what you want me to be
feeling so faithless
lost under the surface
i don't know what you're expecting of me
put under the pressure
of walking in your shoes
[caught in the undertow / just caught in the undertow]
every step that i take is another mistake to you
(chorus)
i've
become so numb
i can't feel you there
become so tired
so much more aware
i'm becoming this
all i want to do
is be more like me
and be less like you
can't you see that you're smothering me
holding too tightly
afraid to lose control
cause everything that you thought i would be
has fallen apart right in front of you
[caught in the undertow / just caught in the undertow]
every step that i take is another mistake to you
[caught in the undertow / just caught in the undertow]
and every second i waste is more than i can take
(chorus)
but i know
i may end up failing too
but i know
you were just like me
with someone disappointed in you
(chorus)
Get out alive by three days grace
No time for goodbye he said
As he faded away
Don't put your life in someone's hands
Their bound to steal it away
Don't hide your mistakes
'Cause they'll find you, burn you
Then he said
If you want to get out alive
Run for your life
If you want to get out alive
Run for your life
This is my last time she said
As she faded away
It's hard to imagine
But one day you'll end up like me
Then she said
If you want to get out alive
Run for your life
If you want to get out alive
Run for your life
If you want to get out alive (If you want to get out alive)
Run for your life (Life)
If you want to get out alive (If you want to get out alive)
Run for your life
If I stay it won't be long
Till I'm burning on the inside
If I go I can only hope
That I make it to the other side
If you want to get out alive
Run for your life
If you want to get out alive
Hold on for
If you want to get out alive (If you want to get out alive)
Run for your life
If you want to get out alive (If you want to get out alive)
Hold on for:
If I stay, it won't be long
Till I'm burning on the inside
If I go I can only hope
That I make it to the other side
If I stay, it won't be long
Till I'm burning on the inside
If I go, if I go
Burning on the inside
Burning on the inside
Burning on the inside
My immortal by Evanescence
I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
[Chorus:]
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me
You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
[Chorus]
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along
[Chorus]
|
