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I don't know what to do.
John doesn't think I really care about him.
But I do.
I just have a really hard time of showing it.
It's always been that way.
I have the hardest time showing my feelings.
As much as I want to, it just seems so impossible.

I get so mad at myself because that ^^^.
It shouldn't be so hard.
I think I might be afraid to show my true feelings.
I don't know why though.

I'm a horrible girlfriend because of my 'problem'.
Every boyfriend I've ever had has told me that they don't feel like I care.
I fear that at this rate, I'll never be able to show that I care.

I realy want to do something to let John know how much I care about him but 1.) It's impossible for me to tell him how much I care, because i care that much. 2.) The whole emotional restriction I stated earlier.

--Manda
--NeedsMajorFreakingHelp--

But none of what I just typed really means anything now, does it?
No one reads these.
What's the point?!
I don't know.
WHo really cares anymore.