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...instead, I'll bottle it all up inside and psycho-analyze it myself till eventually forgetting the problem ever existed. Problem is...it hasn't disappeared yet. Yeah, hard for me to really explain this problem I'm having. I guess it is because I usually don't do this, as explained in the title, but I think I need to talk it out to some folks who really don't know me.

Lately I've been having nightmares. Bad nightmares. The kind you don't forget and prevent you from wanting to go to sleep. I've been dreaming of hurting people in very violent ways. Images flash through my skull just thinking about it. This morning, I woke up sick, waking my wife up at the same time. I usually don't dream or don't remember my dreams. But lately...nothing but nightmares. Heh, I try to keep my mind off it, doing a variety of activities. But lately, these tricks have been failing me.

For some reason, I feel like they will be getting worse. I don't know why. Heh, I don't know what the trigger of this problem is but it has really put a strain on me. It has made me more aggressive towards everything. Before the dreams, I am usually nonchalant about everything and everyone. I would hardly ever loose my cool nor would I hold anything against anyone. But now, heh, I hate everything and everyone. I have this nasty itch in my head that just wants me to lose it all and flip out. lol It's hilarious thinking about it now, but inside, I feel it would release a huge burden if I just went ballistic all of a sudden and just punched a few people or simply done something horrible to someone. Yeah, lose the aggression on an inanimate object. Punch walls/pillows/trees. Scream as loud as you can to unleash your fury. Did them all, but no avail, the urge to hurt someone still lingers.

I would see professional help, but I have no insurance to cover it smile I would see a priest about it, but I'm tired of hearing the same s**t about channeling the energy towards something better. Even now I'm getting frustrated at typing this up and thinking about it. I need sleep but I'm afraid to go to it. Heh, don't be surprise if this gets deleted by tomorrow.