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so i am using it after all, so what.
this is going to be a thought dump post consisting of nothing but random thoughts that rattle around in my head from time to time. i wonder how many will read this? i wonder if some will be surprised to find there is a brain in my head and there is more to me then just silliness o.O

here is what is going to be in the post (more for me then you xp )
Love
Personality
Philosophy
whatever else i come up with while typing away

Love: my thoughts on love are not secret. i make no attempt to hide the fact that i believe in love and its existence as more then just a word we ascribe to a feeling. but first, what is love? if you go and ask bunches of people you are going to get just as many different answers and possible multiple answers from the same person. due to this ill just put out there how love feels to me and what i make of it. i liken it to floating in a red sea. i feel this is appropriate since red means many things and is a situational interpretation and also the sea is unpredictable just as love and relationships. this has all sprung from the fact that i am falling for a girl and when that happens i tend to get a lil poetic and thoughtful and such. lets start with the red aspect first. the red can be Love itself, when i am in love, the world takes on a the rose-colored tint and i am happier more often and the mere thought of her will make me smile and talking to her can make me happy for hours to come and turn a total s**t night into a wonderful one (this has and does happen too). but not all that is red is love, since red also comes with rage. at some most regrettable times that rage is directed at the one you love. (as an aside, this has never happened to me so i am jsut going to move on, but as this does happen i should acknowledge this) maybe they do something to you that just sends you over the edge, or you take your anger out on them and give it your all and try to cause the other thing that red can represent; pain (this i have experienced xd ). the other side is that you get angry at others that would hurt the one you love, or they disrespect both of you by making undesired advances or something that just makes you want to kick their a** for doing such a thing for nothing more then themselves (this happens to me, especially with two individuals in particular scream stressed evil ). the next one i mentioned in passing, pain. maybe it is soemthing they did and you cant even get angry, you are just sad and disappointed, or you hurt yourself or something else. no matter what the cause is, the pain is there and always will be even if it is only for one side and not the other. all of this makes up love and relationships. now for the sea which is really easy and quick to explain. the sea and oceans are unpredictable and you never know when they are going to turn on you and whip up a storm that will kick your a** and leave you battered and bruised and alone. you can not predict when or if a relationship will end or if it will last forever and this is a risk you take each time. in conclusion to this portion of the thought dump i issue a warning to those who play with these emotions, that is going to get you killed or you will end up alone since all you know is the short term tricks and not what it takes for long term and in time you will only be able to meet older women who are wise to you and then you will be alone, but as i despise those people (it can be a male or female, i do know that), i will have no problem laughing at them as they slink home drunk and alone.

Personality: what decides a person's personality? i know that there are many many factors in the answer to this question but i am going to focus on one aspect, the trials of ones life and in relation, the flaws of that person. what a person has faced in life is going to determine how they deal with what comes in the future. life a series of events that happen to us/around us and how we deal with that is we relate it to what has happened to us in the past and then act accordingly. if it is new then we either freeze up or take a chance. that, i think is why people are afraid of new things since they have no idea how to deal with them or how to handle them. then the flaws quite obviously come into play and make a person who they are. no one really cares about what you can do, they care about your limits and how far you can be pushed till you are over them. maybe when you pass your limits and you just make new ones and come out on top, or maybe you just crumble and are left as a shivering pile on the floor. everyone has a point where that will happen to them, but the strong ones are the ones that smile in the face of that and deal with it. i have my own limits and i am always looking for ways or reasons to extend them, and that defines who i am as that takes work and effort where as what i can do takes none at all as i have already reached and passed that point. its like a video game. you play and play more and more and then get further and further in the game and then you beat it and go back and play again and suddenly the entire game is easy and not a challenge at all.

Philosophy: first off, i despise philosophy as it has no real use in the world and i am a pragmatic person. (ill continue this another time as i am thirsty)
almost ten days later and i am finally finishing this post razz and now back to philosophy.
as i said i do not like it. i find it o be a waste of time as i dont need to know the meaning of life to live it. what i need to know is how to live life and i am going ot decide that for myself. what good will it do me when im geting up for work to wonder about the "human condition"? when i am at work and doing my job, why would i i need to know "why im here"? all that matters is that i am here and i need money to live my life style ad so i get up and go to work an earn money so that i can live out my dreams. if that stuff is your cup of tea then so be it, all the more power to you, become what you consider enlightened. but then if you do that dont act all haughty like you are better then others since you are thinking about the nature of life and the things around you. its not going to do anyone any good at all and will serve as nothing more then a tool used by a bully who is too weak to actually do anything. the old saying that "those who can do it, go out and do it while those who cant, talk about how they can/teach others how to do it" this is something i believe and i think offers insight into how enlightened a person really is. in my time i have come to realize that those who are really talented at something are quiet about it while those you see showing off are only moderately good at whatever it is and are just better then the average person.

well that is it for this thought dump. maybe ill be making another one soon, maybe not. if you make it to this point then i ask that you comment me as i would like to know the thoughts of others on this, as long as its not flaming or anything as these are my opinions and nothing you say will change them so dont even bother ^_^ that said, PLEASE tell me what you think!