i can't get him off of my mind. i've tried so hard, but i can't do it anymore. i need him and no one seems to understand that. i got my septum peirced today also. an attemp to get him off my mind. i can't stand this. i have counsaling now. i've been crying so much. i refuse to give up on him. i'm just scared i'll lose him over this period of time that we can't talk. i'll never get over him. i will marry him someday<3. no doubts about that. why does this always happen to me? i get with a really nice guy and something goes wrong. like with tobie. i gave him up for a ******** face who lied to me. i ******** it up. and now this s**t with josh. damn i can't take this s**t. LET ME TALK TO HIM! i'm going insane. i don't like this feeling of emptyness inside of me. i'm being all emo and s**t now. i miss him. i miss his voice his smile, him, everything that made up him. we can't see eachother now. there's nothing i can do. they took away my everything and now what am i to do? i can't just shake this off. i need something to make me better, but i have no idea what it could be. it's like losing charlie all over again. i just....i just don't want to think about them anymore. i still love josh and i'll never let him go, but right now, over the time we can't talk, i need something to take my mind off the hurt. any suggestions? we probably could have been together for our annaversary, but now we can't. i don't want to have sex with him, i just want to hold him and kiss him. that's it, but parents think that all we teens think about is sex. it's not. i just...i don't even know anymore. i don't know about anything anymore. life's not the same without him. i go to gansville and when my mom apologises for taking too long i reply "it's fine. i have no reason to be home anymore" and everytime it hurts more and more. i've been living off of coffee. i can't sleep cause i know he'll be in my dreams and if i have to wake up and find that it was all a dream, i just don't know what i'd do. i stay up and talk to tobie all night. there's nothing else to do. i have to be stuck in the house thinking about him ALL ******** DAY. tell me that's no crule. oh well i'm a ******** outie.
PEACE FROM A ******** HEAD!
JOSHUA DAVID DRAGON I ******** LOVE YOU!
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