today is going to suck majorly.... this is so lame. i hate it when i get my hopes up. no matter what i say i really do. always. and it sucks and i hate it and i wish i didn't do it. i want to get rid of all of my hope... i don't want any anymore. it hurts me all the time. ******** you hope. i hate you. i think i hate my life. or maybe it's me i hate. i'm tired. my mother is not out of the shower yet. so... i am waiting i guess. i don't want to go to the doctor's... i don't want to sit and do nothing all day... i wanted to- ergh. i need to knock it off. it just takes so much courage for me to ask and then i always get turned down. it sucks... and it's a real downer for me...
9:05pm
eh...
