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poems and such


Knife in hand I'm ready to cut I hurt so bad You wouldn't know I want to cut I'm in a rut I need to feel The smooth blade go My skin cries out It needs me so I push down hard The blade moves fast One more drop That's all I ask One drop down A few more to go I hurt so bad You wouldn't know bittersweet irish coffee · Fri Mar 07, 2008 @ 09:28pm · 2 Comments


bittersweet irish coffee Community Member «Prev \| Next Archive \| Home [03/07/10 01:19am] [05/21/09 05:49pm] [04/24/08 03:01am] [04/24/08 02:59am] [03/22/08 06:59pm] [03/22/08 06:55pm] [03/22/08 06:43pm] [03/07/08 09:28pm]

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I am a rock
I am an island
A rock feels no pain
And an island never cries.....

User Comments: [2]

IwantAlaska
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Sat Mar 22, 2008 @ 04:14pm

If this is simply therapeutic poetry than it must be good from your standpoint, but, as far as imagery or poetic devices, you don't use any at all. You should work more on a rhyme scheme or don't try to rhyme at all because your rhymes are extremely forced.

Keep trying.

IwantAlaska
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Sat Mar 22, 2008 @ 04:18pm

The comment I posted was from my friend(Converse Controversy). I accidentally logged her out and logged onto mine before posting.

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