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*takes out earplugs* *sigh* Man......I'm am so tormented.....

First I'll tell you the highlight of my day...My neighbor and I hadn't talked in awhile, so we went up this hill by my house with her cousins. Well, she had skates on, and me and her cousins were on bikes. I was worried about her cousins, because the bike were too big. So, we started down the hill, and I realized something. How was my friend going to stop? So I yelled at her, asking her that question. She tried to move over to stop, so she would fall in the grass, but she tripped, and flew down, sliding on her stomach for a good 4 feet. I stop and threw my bike down and ran to see if she was injuried. Well, she scraped her knee really bad, cut her hand, had a small cut on her eyebrow, and scraped up some other stuff. It was bad looking, but not horrible. So, her grandma brought the car around, we put her in the car, and we took her home. So I spent most of my day there, helping her clean up.

Yes, sadly that was the highlight of my day. The rest....

Well, I quit band. Yes, I said it. Well, technically, my mom called when I was asleep.....But yes, I quit band. Why? Well, I hated it. My mom hated having to take me all the time. We don't have enough money to spare for band camp. Yes, there is a car wash to raise money, but all my relatives who live nearby are cheap bastards. Plus, the money is due before the car wash. The only reason I went is so I could see my friends, but that shouldn't be the reason I should go to band. I should go because I like band, not push myself to go. Then, I won't play as good. I just wanted to have classes with my friend, but I don't want to do something that I don't like for the little time I have left in highschool. Soon, I'll have to get a job, then I won't have anytime anyways. I just want to spend the little free time I have left like a kid. Come one. I'm freaked out by highschool, I only have four years left, and two or three of those years are already going to be spent at work. Ah, how I long for the days of childhood bliss.....

Call me a quiter, call me stupid, call me retarded, call me weak-willed, ask me ten thousand questions, tell me what you've done for me, tell me it's good for me, tell me I'll get scholarships, tell me you hate me.....But just because I'm not going to be in band, doesn't mean I'm going to change. It selfish to think that way. I might be selfish too. But I don't want to do band. Period. I already feel gulity. It makes me think that I'm abandoning my friends. It makes me sad to think of all the fun my friends will have without me. But I wasn't happy. Maybe I'll miss out on alot of stuff. Maybe I will have classes without any friends. But I still didn't like band. I might regret my choice later, but for now, I'm content. Except, for the fact that I feel like I'm leting my friends down. I think everyone's mad at me anyways.

Now, I'm depressed. And, my "friends" stop telling me all this, please. I already have beat myself up about it enough....I don't need to be insulted anymore today.

Sorry if I sound whiny, but I need to get all of that off my chest.