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Location: Bedroom

Mood: Angry with myself evil

I had a normal school day, nothin new...I was paranoid because of my weekend....My friend JR says I should've "got some"....but in my heart I knew I couldn't...there innocent girls...I can't do that...I'd have to kill myself to get rid of the pain.

Later on in Tae Kwon Doe..Ms.Maria-one of my Various instructors(really nice lady!) got angry because I was horsing around too much...I punished myself...people of course think I'm crazy...but with an emotional instability like mine...where you hate yourself SO MUCH that if you were to get a gun pointed to your head and say" Gimme the gun, I'll Kill myself for you..." then you could imagine what I'd do if I got in trouble...she said that I was on probation. I must of took it too literal again and called my mom...I told her not to take me back for 3 months...When I hear probation I think "get sent away for how long and then return" Probation to them is Exile to me...Anywho...I'm sitting here now in a depressed heap...I'm at a total loss with myself I don't know what to do........perhaps I need a shrink....again...I'm not sure...maybe highschools and the WASL are starting to get to me....I need to rest......


Prodigy Boy