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Demon Days
All and everything that forms my life; from music, friends, books, writing, and some few extra info about me
Nagant M1895
“A vampire that betrays his own race is worse then this human scum.” Etilan reached a hand to stop Yili from taking Iran’s body when Dane threw a kick breaking his jaw instantaneously.

“You too betray us do you Dane!” shouted Voxx summon a mighty magic spell to kill Yili and Iran. While Joaquin battle several soldiers, he manage to stab one and incinerate his remains preventing from regenerating.

“I’m coming!” he shouted running to aid Khosaru who was bravely fighting five soldiers. All the members of the Corpse Control Corporation wore all blue pants and jackets resembling a police uniform with an visor hat.

“Voxx help me! His going to ******** rip my arms off!” but Etilan’s screams when unheard for his brother was having a difficult time battling Jojo and Roy.

Joaquin swung his blade but it was quickly deflected by several new members of the Corps who were steadily coming into the building.

Wynford blasted several of the Corps coming toward him.
Joaquin blocked one hit for him and shouted. “Hey can you still fight?” he swung his sword hitting two Corps members.

Wynford struggle to get up. “Ya - damn!” two members Corps soldiers attacked him at once brandishing silver revolvers.

“Your going----” the head of the first soldier was sent flying across the dungeon, while the other had no time to even aim his revolver before his hand was ripped off and his neck was bit off by Dane.

“Thanks…” said Wynford running off.

Dane turn to face Etilan.

“Lycanthropy huh? How ironic that the descent of the pure blood vampyr family and only son of Madame Rhadeas was bitten by his lover never to become one of us, a child of the night. You were a child of wolves.” Etilan was holding on to his left arm which had been nearly bitten off by Dane.

Dane nodded in silence.

Meanwhile Yili took the revolvers from the remains of the Corps soldiers Dane just killed.

“Not bad a Nagant M1895 and both are polish. Ha!” he shot all the officers that were attacking Khosaru.






User Comments: [3] [add]
Shadowmanxp
Community Member
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commentCommented on: Wed Feb 06, 2008 @ 09:59pm
-dunno if you meant 'polished' since you were referring to weapons.. or were you referring to 'polish' origin? -You've gotten better at this.. I'm no expert writer, so I'll just comment on the story from now.. so this means I back off the critique route biggrin


commentCommented on: Fri Feb 08, 2008 @ 01:23am
This and incomplete work, sense I rewrote the story with parts of another story called the Flight of Ikarus. So it may have many other mistakes. Yes, I mean polishing so thank you again David



Renton Noah
Community Member
Shadowmanxp
Community Member
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commentCommented on: Fri Feb 08, 2008 @ 02:56am
Ok -I'm going to just follow the story from now.. -I'll leave you to fix whatever you mistakes you catch since doing that helps you grow as a writer.. -besides.. checking for mistakes takes the fun out of reading a good story, so I'll just follow events and comment on stuff about the characters and stuff -more creativity on my part than just correcting stuff.. -you keep writing, I'll keep reading smile


User Comments: [3] [add]
 
 
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