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Gin's (Guh-ee-n) Journal.
Darkness






to me , Hope is an illusion and love is a fairy tale , for I am a puppet and my life is a nightmare in which illusions and fairytales

are created.


I have taken on the darkness in the hearts of mankind , I have been tortured over and over , I was able to resist.

But I have finally reached my limits , my heart had a hollow in it , one that I covered up and hid.

I can no longer hide it and now I am a being of darkness , someone who will never again help another.

I will never accept help , I will never trust another , if a being calls for help than I will not help them.

All I have left to do is spread my darkness and than destroy myself.


I still have a question which has not been answerd.


What do you do when the only one who can stop your crying , is the one who made you cry?


I am now cold , and even the darkest coldest weather cannot match it. My very soul has been cut into pieces and frozen solid.

Nothing can warm my heart , and nothing can make those invisible wings of mine grow back. now in place of my Angelic wings ,

are the wings of a demon. I was on the brink of light and dark , I was to be a guardian angel. but now I am nothing more than

a puppet serving the darkness.



My tears are bitter and bloody , and so are my old wings. my tears singe my flesh and stick to my skin. My wails and screams of agony

deafen me to the outside world. If anyone were to see me they would cry too and because of that I have shrouded myself in darkness , I
can trust no one , I can help no one. I must remain alone , a puppet waiting for a command.






I love everything about you , I love your angelic smile when your happy , I love your pleasent voice when you are singing

I love your Sunlit Silky hair , I love your crystaline blue eyes , I love your luagh , I love your very presence.

even if we were just sitting in the same room together I would feel all my worries lift away and care only about you and your

happiness. But I guess I never saved any joy for myself , no I couldent , because you being happy was the only thing that made me

happy.




I wanted to go where you go , to live where you live , to marry you love you , have children and raise a healthy family , a happy

family , I want your god to be my god , I want to grow old with you , I want to die with you , and I want to be buried next to you.



I wanted to share my life with you.


so


tell me

Why do you wish to selfishly take on all the pain yourself?

Why cant I share that pain?

Why can't you let go of the past?

Time cannot heal a wound if you let it turn into a scar.

Will you hold on to the past , or will you let go start a new life and heal?



What do you do when the only one who can stop you from crying is the one who made you cry?



If you want to feel love you have to feel pain first.


I have felt pain all my life , at what point in my life will I make it out of the darkness into the light and feel love?


Why cant I be with you forever?

Why cant I help you , heal you?



I have been left with no one to hold me.






User Comments: [1]
RagDoll_of_WratH
Community Member





Mon Jan 14, 2008 @ 09:24pm


*sigh*....Wow...you've put such strong negative feelings
onto poems like this....it kinda makes me want to cry right now.... sad cry crying


This signature that you're used to seeing...
is now on a different account =3
User Comments: [1]
 
 
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