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Firstly, HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone !! =]

I thought I'd start this year happily, but unfortunately, I'm starting it as bitterly as I usually do.
So, what's happened...
Hmm, well, it was the Xmas holidays and I was hating it and missing my boyfriend and wishing school would start soon so that i could see him again and such.
And theeennn, Abul and i broke up yesterday. crying
I felt s**t for most of yesterday.
Then I kinda got used to the idea and now I'm trying to be strong and all.
My friends are there for me.
Abul's still there for me too.. Just.. Not in the same way as before, huh...

But oh well, right now I'm trying my best to be cheerful. Like everyone always says, plenty of guys out there, I'm amazing, nothing to worry about, will get through it, blehblahbleh.
That doesn't change the fact that it HURTS. Or that it's HIM I want. Or that I seem to have lost part of my heart.

Call me stupid if you want, I'll probably deserve it, but yesterday.. I nearly killed myself o.O I'm not sure why I did that, but when Abul made it clear that he didn't love me.... I went and got a knife.
But i won't do that again. I promised. =]

Hmm. I want a hug. But there's no one left to do that. I feel like crying again now. NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!! Must be strong. Must smile.

Yush. It'sh okay, I'm smiling. Awesome.








...Abul, if you read all this (though I highly doubt you will):: Don't feel bad, I reacted stupidly, I'm glad we were together, even if it was short.
"Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all" people say. I agree with that. Though you're not lost. I hope we'll be excellent friends from now on.

I still love you right now but eventually, I'll think of you as an awesome friend. [A friend on whom I have a not-so-secret crush ninja ]
I hope things won't get awkward between us confused I won't let that happen ! scream
But you're always going to be my the Fuzzy Bear ninja