Okay, so my first journal entry is here.
And it's going to be about an issue I've been having, maybe someone might be able to comment some advice?
So here's how it is.
I met this one guy online, he's also a Gaian, so let me explain what the issue is.
It met him through his girlfriend, who is a close friend of mine. And maybe after the couple days we talked, I started liking him as much as someone can like someone they met online. See, I was complaining alot and very upset, and I put alot of blame on him for stuff when he tried to make it better, yet he still didn't hate me.
So anyways, after this whole blame-alot-on-him thing, that's when I started liking him alot. And he had a girlfriend, though, but his girlfriend was someone he met online and stuff, so I just, well I felt like I had some sort of CHANCE you know considering she was more of an online girlfriend and stuff, just like I was someone online to him.
Anyways, then we started to do alot of uhm, smut-writing and smut-talking. And well obviously that made me like him more, and he started talking to me on a microphone, which charmed me completely because I love his voice and stuff, then I got a microphone to talk back to him.
So where this gets most complicated is the way he makes things sound, to me, anyways, his girlfriend doesn't sound much like a girlfriend that he's really into, and like, I feel mad or something that my feelings aren't returned as strongly, yet his girlfriend doesn't even sound like a girlfriend to him! Well, he just sort of said their relationship seemed to be getting sour.
Do you follow me?
And he also wants to visit me and stuff, and I want to him to do, too, badly, but I feel like I'm butting into their relationship and I might end up doing something wrong, and then end up being all sad and stuff in the end. But whatever I do, it seems I'll end up sad somehow.
I know this is confusing-ish but it's like, really bothering me.
And up until recently I never believed in online romances/relationships until I met this guy, yet I can't have him, and he's been with his girlfriend for a long time too and well, yeah it's confusing and it sucks and it makes me feel bad. I've been trying to hope that maybe his relationship with his girlfriend is getting sour for a reason, and it makes me hope that I can have a chance with him, but there's almost nothing inside of my that says things will turn out well with us.
And one of the worst parts is I can't recall ever liking someone I've met/talked to in REAL LIFE before as much! And I was like completely in love with someone in real life before.
Ugh, it's confusing as hell!
D:
Titanium Seraph Community Member 
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Community Member
Unfortunately, your suspicions are right. He always takes a back seat to all my RPs and writing and stuff, and well, I don't treat him the way I should. And don't think this is your fault, I've felt this happening for months now. He's doubting it too, I know he is because he said he was sorry for doubting that our relationship is strong last night. And, well... We've been together for over a year now, but I don't think that it was meant to last. Sure, our relationship was strong when we first started but now... It doesn't seem like it anymore. It just seems... Well, False.
And now, to the part that does involve you; I actually can relate well to what you're going through. More than you'd ever think. In high school, I had a huge huge HUGE crush on the nicest guy in my band class, and what's worse he was British. The kicker? One of my best friends liked him too AND they went to Junior High together. Translation, my chances with him were instantly down to zero, despite that they weren't even dating. It always hurt, just how I couldn't have him, how I couldn't confess my feelings, and how my appearance probably held me back more than it should have. I hated it. I hated myself for feeling that way about him because I didn't want to have to pick between a friend and love. I ended up picking the friend... But, let's see if you absolutely have to do the same. Again, I'm not feeling the same way for Hiaki anymore...
I'm going to talk to Hiaki about this seriously when I can, to see how he really feels about us. I'm going to make him be honest. And, well, it could either end up with us closer or with us breaking apart but still being friends. Either way, this won't affect how I feel about you. You're my friend, Saphir, and nothing is ever going to change that. EVER. I'm not mad, I'm not even upset with you. I'm just glad that you finally did decide to tell me.