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I tihnk it's close enough That I can rant about Christmas. Although the holidays are supposed to be a time rich with happiness, joy, and joyness. Well I'm hoping this year is better. I had a crappy Christmas last year. I'm not gonna say why because those who know me, know what happened. But because of that event, I doubt I'll enjoy christmas to the full extent I used to. I'll never forget, I don't want to forget, but everytime I think about it I feel depressed. There's no lesson in it. just a hurt feeling that never goes away and as Christmas slowly approaches, I feel that hole getting bigger, leaving only sorrow. I wish i had never known I would have gladly gone through life never knowing it happened. But it did and somehow it changes things. Alot. It changes views about somethings. How even during a joyous time of year, there is still tragedy. There's no escaping it. I don't know how much longer i can go on like this... writing this I mean. Not to confuse anybody that i might have masochistic thoughts, but that's not the case. Anywho This helps writing like this. sets the mood. For what? How the hell should I know?