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hmmm how can i say how i feel when i can bearly say or express at times feelings.., because of my shame that i have for my body..it seems to caouse pain to the closses person to me and also to one of my closses freinds, i have fear and shame about my self i fear what she woud think..mainly because im so ashame of it my self, i dont belive she is shallow in any ways, then my close freinds just wants to know more about em and my life but because how i em i just dont like taking about my life..its not becauseof trust but just of confort, when the time comes that i need to tlak about some thing i always turn to them.

i hate the feeling of being useless to not be abel to do nothing but wait, how i hate to wait to wounder how will it go, or how long untill its all ok if it will end ok?