Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

To be honest, I'm not okay. And to be blunt...well it feels like no one truly cares at all because if they did they would see the hints and signs I put out when I am upset. This life seems to be fake and no matter how hard I try it is not in anyones nature to truly notice. Unless of course they really do care. But then again most people are tired of me so they stop caring. But one day they'll see how much they hurt me and beg for my forgiveness. I'm sick of saying I am sorry when I didn't do anything wrong. I am sick of being this way, but yet I have no choice to be when people treat me like crap. I see where I am now in a persons place...oh they say they care but they don't. Its only an illusion, its only a fantasy. People that care try to do something about it even if it ends up being worthless in the end. The fact that they tried is what makes the difference between people who don't care at all. All I see in this world is mesery...I seem to have nothing left to live for as no one is really there for me. And as it seems even the closest of friends will betray you. But in this...some of you have struggled with me far beyond others. For this I am sorry for.

In all that I think right now is death, in my own little world filled with nothing but despair and darkness. It continues to rain down from my eternal pain causing me to nearly disappear into nothingness. Only when one shows me their heart can I truly be revived. No one is there now and I feel all alone. What friends I wonder will read this and try to be there for me? I expect none to...