"Dear journal,
I can barely stand the nights anymore. I don't sleep much, because I can't stop thinking of what they've told me. And when I do sleep, I either have the most horrid of dreams - suicide, death, suffering - or I have the most pleasing dream, only to wake up to the cold reality that it will never come to be; or that it has already passed and will never come again.
One part of me wants to dig deep inside myself and never come out; to place myself in solitude so that I may never hurt again. Another part of me wants to lash out in revenge, and put others through the same suffering they forced upon me.
But night by night goes by, and nothing happens. I'm stuck in this purgatory, and have no other choice but to suffer through every day. I just wish I could end it all..
..I used to live life. Now I just survive it."
I can barely stand the nights anymore. I don't sleep much, because I can't stop thinking of what they've told me. And when I do sleep, I either have the most horrid of dreams - suicide, death, suffering - or I have the most pleasing dream, only to wake up to the cold reality that it will never come to be; or that it has already passed and will never come again.
One part of me wants to dig deep inside myself and never come out; to place myself in solitude so that I may never hurt again. Another part of me wants to lash out in revenge, and put others through the same suffering they forced upon me.
But night by night goes by, and nothing happens. I'm stuck in this purgatory, and have no other choice but to suffer through every day. I just wish I could end it all..
..I used to live life. Now I just survive it."
Community Member