Today, or rather yesterday, I was thinking a lot while out traveling. I have a class I tend to every Mondays and Tuesdays for 90 minutes or more. It's quite a way away from my house and budgets have been getting tight, lately. I’m both proud and ashamed at myself, one for a reason I cannot control.
What I’m proud of is my appearance and my hair. I take great care and pride in those, especially my hair. I’m told by many of my friends, and I believe this, that I’m a very beautiful person, both inside and outside. Now, I’m not saying I’m the most beautiful person alive. I’m not that vain. I’d love to show off my face and my appearance to the world. One of the ways I can do this is modeling. I have been interested in it for years and I was a baby model for the Sears catalog quite some long years ago. My mother reminds me of this sometimes.
I’m a little ashamed at myself for having to hide this face from the public eye. I happen to be allergic to the sun. It’s not a severe case or some mythical weird effects like, I’ll burn to ashes, or I’ll crisp in seconds, or even evaporating in a cloud of dust. I’m no vampire! It’s just severely irritating and achy. To prevent this, I need to cover myself completely from head to toe. No flesh of mine can be seen, save for my eyes and the bridge of my nose, this is in order to see. My face mask is not very thick so I will burn under long exposure. I wish not to disclose my symptoms.
I do not like the way people look at me or treat me. They act as if I’m a terrorist or some weird evil or deranged psychopath merely because of the way I look. When people think I’m out of their earshot they laugh or say something rude if not downright ignorant at or toward me. I have been denied access and use of some public transportation because of it, just some of the bus drivers are really prejudiced when they take a look at me.
In short, I’m proud of my appearance and ashamed that I have to hide it and I grow not to tolerate the ignorance of the common people I pass by in daily life. That was just I pouring my thoughts out on the screen. So read (if you haven’t, it’s all right if not interested), judge, comment, do whatever. I just felt like letting it out.
 Kraeven · Wed Sep 26, 2007 @ 08:36am · 1 Comments |
