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Book of Ten-thousand Years
Book of my past lives.
I hate to love sometimes...
My ex is mad at me...I understand, but I am haveing a really hard time trying to care...I think that is bad...But I really am...My complexity is this: I can't live for one person...I can't tie myself to love only one person...: Yeah...Now to comment on what you are thinking...I am not a pigheaded guy who is a "Playa" I actually dislike those kinds of people...I did and still do care dearly for her, but I can't "be" with her. I can't deny that I love more than one person and I can't stand the thought of cheating on anyone...So I have come up with a solution...I will never have a normal relationship...Sounds weird, but it is the only way that I can live...I love 4 girls that I go to school with. I call them "My girls" They know who they are. They also know that I love them...I think...Oi...Anyways, I figure if I can't be with one person, why not be with more than one, but that seemed kinda pigheaded to me, so I thought about it...I only came up with a paradoxing question...How can I be with one person and love more than one without anyone getting mad, not cheating, and not hindering the relationships? The answer is actually quite simple: I can't. I can't love just one person. I can't have a girlfriend and be able to sustain because she would get jelous of the other girls that I interact with. I am torn because it is real love...I would do anything for them, as long as it didn't involve hurting one of the others...OI! If anyone has anything to comment, or advice that they think could help...Please, feel free to post.






User Comments: [5] [add]
Kuro-mei
Community Member
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commentCommented on: Wed Sep 19, 2007 @ 11:31pm
sounds like a dilemma to me... ok, i usually don't read people's journals in the first place... but today, i was bored. anywho, this reminds me of a recent book i read. the main character knows who she truly loves and wants to be with forever, but at the same time, she loves another- her best friend. she points out that she DOES love both of them and that she can't get over that because that is how she truly feels. so, the point is you can love more than one person, and there's nothing wrong with that. i mean, is it really fair to only love ONE person?


commentCommented on: Fri Sep 21, 2007 @ 05:19am
wow. . . this totally alters the 'man of steel' image i had going for you (not in a bad sense) . . . i'm not really sure what to say considering i had the same problem myself. yeah i was (still am) in love with two guys but that really hurt and i couldn't get past the fact that i felt selfish, hypocritcal and as you say "pig-headed" . . . maybe the real reason is that our minds are still too immature to comprehend "real love", i honestly can't say i know what love is and often it feels as though the more you love the more you get hurt. there's really no way around it. sorry i can't say something more. . . well helpful. (plz don't be mad this is just my opinion i'm not saying your immature or that you don't know what you feel. if you say its love then its love.)

Have you ever seen "Ups and Downs in the Sea of Love"? (this is totally not off subject I swear!). there was this line in there that really got to me. two sisters loved one guy and he in turn cares for the both of them. the youngest is his best friend and the older he has known only recently. Oldest sister says that it is hard to love without conflict and that the constant worry and mistrust could never allow for any form of happiness. the younger one asks her "Do you know why I have complete faith in him?". the reply "It's because you love him more!". answer: "No, it's because my love is not as deep as yours. Because you love him you worry that you'll lose him and it makes you crazy at times. You'll do anything to keep from the pain." ~ ~ ~ does that make any sense?



Kaze-no-Aki
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023yuki_no_hana
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commentCommented on: Sat Oct 06, 2007 @ 06:02pm
Who says that's the right way to love anyways just one person or forever that's just a bunch of propaganda and we all fall into that ideal
it makes me sad that you think you don't deserve love or happiness
and how does anyone know what real love is
I think all that is fake to begin with Marriage is a scam and so is all that boyfriend/girlfriend stuff they're just labels and don't really mean anything and so what if you love more than one person who says it's wrong I don't
you're luck because you can love someone but you love 4 girls
so you're really lucky
I've never loved anyone in my life because I can't
It's not that I'm scared or don't want to I don't know how I can't feel that way for another human being some people think that love is a natural thing that you're just born with kindness and warmth inside you what does that even mean I think it's something you learn and there is no right way to love someone I mean Love is a really strong word sure we used it a lot but when does anyone even mean it

people who say they love you will eventually leave you

people who say they're your friends will someday walk past you in the halls

people who defend you will one day turn on you and hate you like everyone else

Love is not a natural thing it's an idea that got a little crazy and now everyone believes it
there's no such thing as love or kindness because we do it for selfish reasons

we're only kind beacause it makes us feel good about ourselves we only love because we are selfish and want that person to ourselves that's selfish love is not freedom it's security

Forget what anybody says about you don't live for anyone but yourself someday you'll understand what it means to love someone for reals


commentCommented on: Thu Dec 20, 2007 @ 06:09am
................................



sofi_chan
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xXxJeeSkaxXx
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commentCommented on: Sat Dec 22, 2007 @ 11:24pm
o.0 i didnt read this soon enough.........(-_-) now i feel really foolish. i cant really say much in a comment, but in a message maybe someday.. i will say everything on my mind. i completely understadn what you are saying thouhg. i have been in that situation, and the truth is we can only do what feels right to us. if the person truely loves you then after your explanation they should understand. heart heart heart heart heart heart heart heart


kenji-kun .....-hugs- dont b frustrated. it will turn out fine.


User Comments: [5] [add]
 
 
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