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the one person i think is strewber, that part i don't remember exactly her name is i wanna say i'm sorry which is on gaia, for the truth maby i do have some regrest i haved done wrong, i partly remebered of i done wrong, now i remember i stole lots of little cash i was kid, that part i do regrest, i wasn't hoping i do not remember the bad thing the past, i remembered that i'm a bully back then now i more regrest, now i'm not prould, i used so many violent back then, now i couldn't forgive myself and now i will remembered this by my scar i left my self that will stay there forever, i do remembered i change that time, i protected a person i don't remembered why i have to protect that person, he is good friend but agian i got my self back to bad person, then i quit being bad then some how i forget, now i felt my self is worst enemy instead every one, and now i might kill my self to make my own rest but again, some one told me keep living no matter wat, it felt like there is voices in my head, but again it might my guardian angle, i'm confused about my self, end my self or follow that word i heard, i got a chose to pick if i didn't pick my chose my chose will foces it self, my chose to lived, that i did picked, and now some how i change, it felt like a dream of my own sin have gone way far, then i started helping people then i dont' know why?

i never ask my self why i would help other? but again i have to find my own ansrewed, the person i forgoten if you didn't get chances to read this, my own tear will still rain, my burdens are heavy now that i sined so many i broke my self i broke my will then i don't remembered the great feelings but i only remembered my sadness and now i can't forgive my self as i remembed this, the more truth is i can't feel the love felt like i only feel the joy but it doesn't make me happy alway.


i remembered my uncle die so sadly he was chasing a robber which is who stole my anuty perst, then he fall and he forgoten us our family, then he killed him self in the hositble i didn't know wat death is then now i know it is, i rememberd the bad thing happen my family history, most them die a virurs, i didn't feel the sorrow, untell now i didn't knew i did know anything and now it hurt as i remembered, a lots tear come out, i still have small amonte of my chiled what inside, he is me, he see though my eye and saw them again plaing a movie in my head just a setting of something, as i remembered my father was drunk back then, he got so mad he pulled the gun to me then put away, i wasn't fear of guns back then, and now i forgive my father, and he learn his listion, i forgive my family what they done each other, but i couldn't forgive myself i just wounder how i post to call my self worthy to lived?

i've forgot my reason, i have nothing left but the truth of my self of my own regrest that i haved, this bring a chiled in my flesh skin though my bones, now it time forget everything as i break my will again i won't speak my family so much or anyone again untell the next 1 year, i able type alot still but agian i will make my memioers disapered again as i remembed that time

P.S one last truth i got i remembered i gave loving feeling to a girl who wanted feel loved i gave it all it felt like and i let her keep it that i remembered it like a dream.