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I'm miserable
I'm sick and school is starting soon. I know why though, I sit outside at night for hours on end. I only sleep every other day, and I hardly eat anything. I feel so horrible. My dad lost intrest in me yet again, and my grandmother is falling apart, literally. Where is that "god" that she worships daily? Why is he doing this to her? To me? To us? My family is falling apart. I used to see all of them so often, and now, one by one, they're all leaving. I haven't heard from one of my uncles since he was yelled at by his mom, and the other is angry with us and won't even talk to us. His daughter is always working, and digging a deeper hole of debt for herself, and her baby still can't walk on her own, and she's like, two or three. My aunt hasn't called or anything since my sister visited her house, and my other aunt doesn't even come over anymore, because she has to take care of my grandmother. She used to see us every day... she was like a sister to me. We're so low on money right now... it's horrible. And with school starting, it's worse. Mental exhaustion is really getting to me, and I'm running a fever almost constantly, but if I tell my mom, she'll be worried, and send my brother and sister to the ymca, and the price went up so we'll have even less money. My friends ask why I'm always sleeping, but only in my dreams can I find some sort of peace. Only in my mind can I feel at ease. And even though that's the case, I can't find it within myself, even in my dreams, that someone still cares about me. So many people left... so many people are blind to what's going on. I shiver constantly, which I figure is because I'm sick. I don't know what I'm going to do when school starts...
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