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my crap
crap about my crap
5/10 - bored
meh...just wanted to post some of my poetry, enjoy ^__^

I figured it best to explain this poem. First, umm....Sunday I got into an argument with my mom and, I ended up pushing her down two times. I faced a lot of s**t for it yesterday and, ...well, I couldn't get to sleep last night, so I decided to write this poem.

So lost by ace_smith01 (written 3/28/2005)
Finally, a deadlock
A standstill well brought
By decisions unwise
Senses now lost inside
Conflicting emotions
Forgotten devotions
I've lost it all
Now I have nothing to show
All alone
Fate unknown
Just here on my own

I've been trying so hard
Playing this hand of cards
Now I'm all in
And this fear from within
Gone since I've failed
My weakness unveiled
Bursting through cracks
Like a killer on bail
Now so cold
Senses sold
A misshapen mold

No miracle in sight
No peace for this night
Just regret for the act
And no way to go back
And these tears kept so deep
Now won't help me to sleep
This sadness ails
And I've no strength to weep
Helpless curse
An endless hurt
For better or worse

It's too late for help
Now that I've killed myself
Unlocking a rage
Left held in a cage
Can't stop its commence
Just faced with consequence
I've been broken
So long, I don't know since when
Left to cry
Feeling I've died
Still broken inside

Can you find me an end
Where I've been forgiven
My appearance rebuilt
And no trace of this guilt
Just longing for silence
Forgetting the violence
I lost myself
Just as I pushed you away
Please believe
That wasn't me
I need you now please

Must I get down and beg
Down to one or both legs
I'm just a weak child
Who can't face this trial
I've been trying my best
Would it help to confess
I've tried to be
Strong like you but now I'm much less
Still alone
Fate unknown
And here on my own



A Deed From My Love by ace_smith01 (written 1/6/05)

Lustful dreams lying hidden in my sight
Wanting to scream the desires at night
Tempting an ecstasy needed from you
Arouse this passionate love as it brews
Express a force with your strength within me
Let me proclaim this devotion that be
A limitless affection from such acts
I'm alive from your endless blow, thus facts
Prove that pleas cried out are truly answered
With firmness only shown by a lancer
Recover me from such a sturdy event
Let me stay in this joyous moment
Passes us memories of our meeting
The times we searched for each other's meaning
In the end, our happiness is known
By the naked truths this love has shown


xd i was laughing so hard while writing this poem. I don't think i've ever done a poem like this before. i love it heart






User Comments: [3] [add]
Zero41389
Community Member
avatar
commentCommented on: Tue May 10, 2005 @ 07:25pm
OMG OMG OMG your updated your Journal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*huggles* ^_^ V


commentCommented on: Tue May 24, 2005 @ 07:38pm
Oh my goodness I love your poems, they are sooooo much better than anything I could very hope to write. Is it okay if I print those and add them to my collection of awesome poems I like? I hope so...*hugs on* Damn you have talent. heart



The Anesthesia
Community Member
Elsewise
Community Member
avatar
commentCommented on: Wed Aug 23, 2006 @ 07:50am
So lost is a painstaking display of the perpetual fragility of happiness and the vicious stealth with which tragedy strikes.

It is so twistedly cruel and ironic how one action, one sin, one mistake can lead to the grave detonation of everything one has ever deemed valuable in their lifetime. And perhaps even more so cruelly, is the idea of surviving through it, because surviving doesn't mean moving on. Surviving means being wrenched down in the same place, in the ashes of the past, burdened by the stigma of wrongdoing and the eternal, yet futile remorse for having ruined what was most precious to you.

This entire poem makes me feel like comparing life to a glass prism. From an outward angle, it appears so sturdy, so elegant, so vivacious, and full of clarity; it is strong and beautiful. But all it takes is one little tip, one slight sway, and the entire stance will topple from the outside in, leaving behind nothing but the shattered remnants, the jagged and remorseful shards of what once was, and will never be again.

The only negative thing I would have to say is that perhaps the rhyming in this poem is not quite as fluid and natural as it is in some of your other poems that I've read. It seems a bit more forced in this one. But, based on the date, I see that this is one of your slightly older works so I can guess that you have improved your writing and your technique since the creation of this work.



User Comments: [3] [add]
 
 
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