I am but a common man, simple yes, with all the talents of a normal
man, but unlike them I was graced with a skilled tongue. The ability to
weave words into brilliant sentences of flattery that have allowed me
to capture the hearts of even the most cold hearted females. I have been
blessed with this gift but… alas it shall be my downfall. It allows me
to excel at the game I have decided to play. But even I, as skilled as
I may be, have found my equal.
Her face is of such beauty that it drives my heart to beat faster at
but a single glance. Her lips of such pallor that mortal men can not
even comprehend the taste that such lips contain. Her hair of brown
hue, framing her magnificent visage. Eyes of such clarity and beauty
that she can ensnare my mind with but a simple glance.
Her mind is sharp and I fear that she has turned the game to her will.
I believe that I was graced with the abilities needed to succeed, but
she has proven me wrong.
I am a fool. I have allowed her to bewitch my mind in such a way that
she has the time to find the c***k in my armor. The time to pierce the
barricade I have erected. The time to plunge herself into the heart I
have protected for so long. She has planted the seed inside my simple
mind and soul.
She is my flower. The light that casts away the darkness of my soul.
The reason I shall keep living, to continue to draw the painful breath
that keeps me alive all so I can… wait for her. To make her smile, to
laugh. To make her happy. That is my reason…
As I said, I am a fool.
I am a hopeless romantic. She hath ensnared my mind further then anyone
before her. The seed she hath planted in my heart has sprouted into a
tiny flower. So it is my decision, do I nurture the flower or do I let
it wither and die. I fear that I hath decided to travel the path laden
with hardship. Her beauty is the light that shines upon the sproutling,
making it grow. Her smile is the water that quenches its thirst. Her
amber eyes aglow with intelligence is the nutrients that sustains the
flowers life. I hath chosen to nurture the flower she hath planted in
my heart. May we all pray that I hath chosen the right path...
The flower hath grown. The roots have driven themselves deep into my
soul, perhaps to deep to extract with out damage. They burrow deeper
and deeper into my soul with every passing moment with her. Her
questions open doors into myself that I hath never know to exist. With
every passing second she nurtures the flower she hath sown into me. She
doth ask me if I am hoping to view her in all her disrobed splendor,
my answer is nay. She doth ask me if it will make me content, I answer
nay. I will be content to view her as she is, fully clothed. Her smile
brings me joy for I know I hath caused it. He laughter brings me
happiness for I know I hath caused it. But what brings me the most
happiness, joy, or content is the fact that I am given the privy of
viewing her in all her beautiful splendor.
I am content with the way things are... for... I am.......ensnared by
her beauty and charm. She could wear a suit of armor and I would still
feel how I feel now about her. Her body means the world to me, it is
magnificent, as if crafted by the gods themselves from the finest
material, but it is not the thing that makes me what her... it is her
smile, her laugh, her charm that makes me yearn for her in such a way
that it seems impossible. I know she reads these but I do not care, for
these are filled with the thoughts I am too afraid to say...
For I am a coward.
I have learned her name. The being that makes me write such entries.
The being that makes me scribe my thoughts and feelings into this
place, where all can view. It is a soft gently name befiting one like
her. It fills me happiness to finally be able to call her by her given
name. Like the bird she shares her name with, she is beautiful and
free. No longer held down by the chains of the world that binds all of
use... even me.
As I sit here before you I wonder... what made me ask for her name.
Perhaps it was my minds way of telling me that I should stop thinking
of her as I once did. As a single entity made up of all the good and
beautiful things in the world. An act of god to meet her, when I was
filled with such hatred and disdain for humanity, that I believed was
corrupted beyond saving. But now I know, that she is a being forged by
the evilness of humanity and that even from the most dank and vile
thing a being of beauty and pureness can emerge. A being that has the
power to change even I, one who has given up on the human race long
ago. She has given me faith that if one such being can emerge from the
darkness, then perhaps another can, and another after that. To finally
save this doomed collection of tortured souls that I call humanity.
The name of the being that has open my eyes. The name of the being that
has unsealed my heart and banished the seal upon my soul. The name of
the being that has allowed me to see not only the corruption of
humanity but also the good left in this world.
The name of that being... is Robin.
I have come to realize what she is to me. She is the one that life has
cast at me to unseal my heart. To banish the chains that I have wrapped
around my soul. She is the key to making me be able to love again. She
is gods way of telling me that I should forget my previous failures and
focus on a new beginning. I love her, but more as a friend then all
else. She is one of the few that I will defend to my last breath.
She has joined the small group of people that light my way. The ones
who make me who I am. The few chosen people that have seen me as I was
created, not bearing the mask I have made to shut myself from the
world. They know me as the caring and hopeless romantic. The person who
will take and bear the crushing force that humanity can cast upon a
single person. The person that will sooth the souls of the people that
the world is about to crush. All so he can see their smiling facing and
feel their joy in his soul. The one who has had the world crush him,
and continue to live.
She has joined the people who hold the key... to my soul.
I have been cursed with the terrible fate of never being able to say
what I truely feel. I wish to tell her that she is beautiful but I can
never do it. Its but a few simple words strung together to mean a very
simple concept but still... I can not say it. She is an amazing
person.. She is beautiful in ever sense of the word but I still can not
tell her thus. Perhaps I am a coward She is a being that in all sense I
should hate. She does the things that make me cringe in pain and worry
about the fate of the world. Yet I continue to converse with her,
becoming more ensnared by her beauty and charm with every word uttered.
She is perfect to me but I still can not say what I feel. It is a
troublesome thing that I have been cursed with.
I know she reads this, but I do not worry. I know she will understand
what I have written here. I know she will realize what im trying to
say... even if I have the inability to say it...
I love her pure and simple. I want her by my side for all eternity, but
god seems to enjoy toying with me by placing her so far away. I want
her. I want to see her smile. I want to hear her laugh. I want to hold
her in my arms. I want to kiss her. I want all these things...
I would give anything in this world to have her in my arms but for a
moment. I want her. I write this to that I can look back and see what I
wanted the most at this moment. Maybe I will get these things, maybe I
will not. But I promise you this, I will give my soul to succeed and be
with her.
I have been beaten and broken. My heart has been torn asunder. My soul
crushed... but still I continue I continue to do what I feel I have
been made to do. To make others laugh, smile, find happiness in there
dreadful lives. I continue to take their punishment in exchange for
feeling alive. I want them to be happy... for if they are happy then
perhaps I will gain even a shred of happiness from them.
I want to feel content, I want to be loved, I want to hold someone. But
still I have not. Despite my best wishes and attempts I still fight for
what I feel is right. Is it wrong for me to want to feel those things?
Is it just that I have not done enough good in this world to deserve
those things. Have I not saved enough people to garner even a little
bit of happiness in my life
.
I continue to strive for someone to hold. I want... no need someone to
help me. I have this feeling in my heart, my soul, the very essence of
my life... that I am not good enough. This feeling is growing stronger.
When will it be my turn to feel these emotions that I give so readily.
When is it my turn to be praised. When will it be my turn to have
someone that would do anything for me like I do for everyone else. I
dont know... but thats why I continue. I continue to strive because
maybe...just maybe I will find someone.
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Thoughts and feelings... of a foolish man
The Great Weasel King
Community Member |
Vandel'o eranu
Help me forget
Is it too much to ask for someone to hold.