My best friend's name is Angel. I've been staying at his house for the past week, almost. Y'see, Angel's gay and all. But him and Devin (my ex) broke up, and Angel said he wanted a break from guys for a while. We get along very well, and I'm starting to fall in love with him. The closer I get to him the harder it is to bear the fact my feelings have to be hidden away... I can't tell him how I feel because I don't want our friendship to be awkward. Not only that, but he's gay and I don't want to push something on him and make him hate me... but it's so hard to keep my feelings in. It's like, 5:30 in the morning and I've been up crying for 3 hours because of this issue. He's sleeping on the couch, no wonder he calls himself Angel. He sure looks like one... oh my God... I want to so badly have him in my arms, and tell him everything's going to be alright. He's going through alot of bad times right now, and he needs somebody there. I've been through alot of s**t myself, and I would love to just hold him and tell him I'll be there for him... but the thing is, he'll probably say "that's what the last person said." I really do care about him. It's crazy, I know. But I can't help it... we really connect. I feel like he's been in my life longer than he actually is in reality. It feels like we've known each other for decades... Hell, even ages. The stupid bit is, I can't even look at him anymore without wanting to burst into tears and throw my arms around him... tell him what's buried deep within my heart. God, I must sound stupid. Maybe even psychotic. I mean, I'm in love with a gay boy. Hey, that reminds me of that song by .t.A.T.u....
Malchik Gay.. so suits my mood right now... he has the most prettiest lips and eyes... I fell in love instantly.
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