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Read and comment? ;_; I need suggestions!

Posted by: Zeoia Kuesk Tue Apr 26, 2005 @ 11:02am

wow I was cringe lmao

User Comments: [5]

Mattar920
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Tue Apr 26, 2005 @ 10:39pm

very interesting....

Can of Nothing.
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Tue Apr 26, 2005 @ 10:44pm

People would throw food at him? Poor Hyoi. D:
From the start of it, it sounds really impressive. Please write another 'chapter' to it. I would like to know what happens to both Yeiwyth and Hyoi.
Good luck with the Creative Writing class. :3

Miss Elecy
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Tue Apr 26, 2005 @ 11:51pm

very nice, i rather enjoy it.

Kamikits
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Wed Apr 27, 2005 @ 05:28am

o_Oa It's very... Original. =3 Sexy story line. XD Apart from the wanting to eat him, eat him.

Uhm, you're repetitive with words a few times(femme, creaked/creaking, etc), the descriptions of the characters sound awkward, and you put in the wrong sort of "hear" once.

Other than that, nice job. ^_^b Hope you get a good grade on this!

Skizzors
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Thu Apr 28, 2005 @ 12:13am

Ooh.. very pretty. Like was said before, please post more! <3

User Comments: [5]

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