Today I finally got my hands on the CD True Stories I Made Up by Daniel Tosh. That guy is craaaaaaaaazy. Here's some quotes from the King of Spaz-
I was watching the Country Music Channel the other night, fell asleep, and woke up racist.
President Bush is the reason you don't tell a retarded child that he can be anything he wants when he grows up.
Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy a waverunner. Have you ever seen a sad person on a waverunner? .....Seriously, have you? .....No seriously, have you?
We've got four more years of President Bush, that's exciting. He should come out tomorrow and decide to rename Iraq 'Strawberry Shortcake Land'. People will be like "You can't do that!" and he'll be like "I ******** did. I'm going to the ranch, leave me alone." Then nobody could ever attack again......"We're gonna go fight....Strawberry Shortcake Land......." "No you're not, they smell too good!"
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Rantings of a Diseased Mind
All those who read further beware, for your brain shall liquify, drip out your nostrils, and flush itself down the toilet.
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Smile and the world smiles with you, laugh and they'll all think you're on drugs.
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