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Sirenas
You get to see the depths of my mind as it slowly unwinds. Occasional short stories. Things about my day, or about anything I like.
Thursday....

My dad left us...

I've been so relieved since he's been gone though I'm paritally sad..

I mean, when he was sober, he was a decent fellow....
It was when he was drunk that got on my nerves...

He's let me down alot in my life, yet I've always managed to come around and forgive him...


But this time... I don't think I can... I feel he needs to hit rock bottom before he can ever learn his lesson..

I guess thats the only thing the kills me. The fact that I won't forgive him... He should have taken advantage out of all the times in the past. Maybe I'm just thinking out of anger, or frustration.

Who knows...

I love my dad... but he can't keep bringing us down like this...

I just wish he'd stay out of our lives forever...

It just feels like he only loves me because he has to, and it's my fault for where he is right now..

It's my fault he got married young

It's my fault that he had a child a year later

It's my fault he can't go back to school

And so on and so forth...

And I'm not allowed to say anything...

He won't let me defend myself.

I'M SICK OF HIM MAKING ME FEEL LIKE I'M HELPLESS!

He won't give me the time or day. I'm supposed to be his servant as a daughter.

I think thats bull...

*sigh*

I'm sorry everyone

In the end..

I love my dad

I hate what he does

I hate how he treats me

I hate how he under estimates me and think's I'm stupid...

I hate how he makes my sister's cry

I hate how hurts everyone I love

and

Now I hate how I can't seem to forgive him. I don't want to see him again. I hope he finds happiness... I just wish he doesn't find it here...

It takes alot to get me mad, maybe because I had to put up with my dad for so long...

Lol, sorry to go on this rampage so suddenly, I just felt the need to let out to someone, even if it is complete strangers...

Please don't comment...

Just listening to what I feel right now is more than enough... Besides, I would feel bad if I knew people worry about me.

That's why I don't share too much about my life...

This time.. I felt like I needed to.. Thank you... whoever reads this... Thank you so much... for reading... I just need to let you know...

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Sirenas
Community Member
  • [12/27/11 06:07am]
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