Life seems pointless to me now.
Honestly, it had. I am not trusting so many people anymore. Everyone is becoming worser and worser, everyone! its just hurts very much to see that. My best friend has become a huge distant away from me now. I have absolutely no friend to completely trust about my thoughts. Nobody.
My life at the moment is stressfull,very.I can't wait till school ends, and I don't wanna remember anything from This Dreded city, NOTHING! I have suffered alot in here, and I would of gone perfectly great at Valley View. I hate that I moved to a society that revolves around assholes and the only way you can survive is by fighting back (literaly physicaly fighting back) I learned that this week when a special ed kid didn't have the buts to tell an insult to my face so I shubed my face to his to see and when Ruben got on my nervs and I punched him on the a**. My life hasn't been peacefull though. Its been 3 years were the world has gotten me out of a blunt life, and now I wish I was still blunt. Careless of what people say. I wish I was still that kid that didn't care what was told to my face and all I did was move on to whats in my buissness.
Alot of the things that im afraid of are making me more paranoid. I am thinking that they might start developing, but I don't want to mention it to anyone in specific of the issue because I don't know what will happen. I don't want to ruin things, I don't want to ruin anything, but I guess im weak to the things that make me happy. I guess I fight back to the things that piss me off alot.
And what im confused about the most is about my self-image. One day after school I walked alone and as I was walking I noticed my reflection on the cars. On some reflections, I noticed that the way I looked I wasn't satified because of the shape it gave me, and none really satisfied me so I felt horrible, until I noticed a yellow-faded fluffy kitten was following me. I pet the poor lil guy but it was afraid, very. So I slowly let it trust me and it eventually snuggled on my legs. Then as I walked the lil guy followed me. I picked him up and noticed that he wasn't fed nor treated right. it was strange looking, yet oddly cute.Then when there was dogs barking the kitten had ran off. I guess it was afraid.Then finally when I passed this jeep there was this strait reflection, and I just stoped walking and looked at myself. To me I wasn't so bad, but yet some critizise. Then it hit me...
Self-image isn't about what people think, its about what YOU think.
So its hard to choose an opinion about myself. Somedays I will feel great, somedays I will feel like crap.
Other than that, im tired of thinking about life already. Im tired of crying about everything I think. I'm Sick of it!
fromtheriver Community Member 
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