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I'm just going to blow off some steam on this page. biggrin Beware.

I've always looked at a glass that's half-full. I guess all my suppressed anger and sadness would eventually catch up with me. And this whole week was it.
I'm mentally exhausted. Yeup. Of everything. People, School, Work, Family, and Friends. I'm getting very sick of it all. I guess I want to be alone, but then again, I don't want to be alone.
People tell me all their problems. I listen and try to help. Hokay-it's all good. But when it's my turn to lay it all out, I get the cold shoulder. People suck. I hate being used. I can't count on anyone, I've tried, but they've all let me down. So what now?
I don't know what to believe in any more. Life in general sucks, and i've tried looking at the brighter side of things--and it worked...for awhile. I'm still unhappy.

Plus, i'm still just a kid, being yanked into a world of big decisions and responsibilities-the adult world. I don't think I'm ready, but what choice do I have?
I don't even know where I'm heading or what college. I don't have a goal. Real world hasn't started yet for me, and I'm already lost. I know i'm not alone on this.

And I'm also to blame. I hate a lot of things about me. Dx I hate my possessiveness, my anger, jealousy, and all the s**t I give to people. I don't want to hurt anyone. I also hate that I can't be honest to myself.

I hope the people I've hurt can find it in their hearts to forgive me.

While I was in church, I thought of a little thing called, 'peace of mind.' I wondered if I could attain it. After a few minutes, I just closed my eyes and pictured myself relaxing at the beach, or in a peaceful garden somewhere-my paradise. whee
I felt relaxed afterwards, and I hope that whenever I feel like the world is crashing down on me, I could just escape reality again and go to my peace of mind. :3

Sorry if my statements offend anyone. I'm not trying to, I just want to blow a fuse. Don't feel sorry for me--a lot of people have it worse. I'm just trying to inform you readers of what's going through my mind.

Thanks for actually reading this bullshit. biggrin