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or am I just in denial?

-insert angry, terrifying battle cry here- stressed
Goddamn!
I hate being a ******** teenager!
Damn these teenage hormones!!!
><

Yes, I am angry!
I am ******** angry!
Or I can just be frustrated.
In which case I am severely frustrated.

Either way,
I don't like it.

The Freshman Banquet
was held last Saturday. April 2nd.

I knew I was going to have a miserable time.
I always do.
I don't even know why I bothered going.
Because it's at times like that when I feel alone the most.

Or maybe I decided to stay in my miserable corner for a reason.
Maybe it was because he wasn't paying attention to me.
Maybe I was jealous.
I didn't figure it out until after the dance.

When I told my friends I have to go
and he followed me and asked if I was alright.
And I told him I was.
Yes, I lied.

But I don't understand why I cried more than I already was
and why it hurt
when I lied to him.

Goddammit.
He's nothing special.

-le sigh-
I hate this.
So ******** much.

I figured making my reflection listen to me rant about it was enough.
I decided to talk about it to someone.
And she told me to tell him.

TELL HIM?!
You're kidding right?!
I can't do that!

or, she said,
I can keep it locked up inside me.
Now THAT I can do.
:3
I'm quite good at that.

And she told me
he had a thing for me.
He thought I was pretty
and nice.
I don't know where the ******** he got that,
but hey,
I'm not complaining.
=D

So that's why he asked me to the Banquet.
Before the other girl that he liked.
Because he was thinking about me first.
Before her.
But I said no.
Because I have committment issues.

WHY DID YOU MAKE ME A MORON, GOD?!
WHY?!
WHY CAN'T YOU GO VICTIMIZE SOMEONE ELSE?!

Anyway.
So he asked her.
And they were dancing.
And stuff.

It's good, I supposed.
Because I hate dancing.
But I would have.
If he asked me.

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