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Heil! Whatever comes to mind I guess?


Thanatos Adnihiloletum
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About Me
Lo, the darting bowling orb!
Lo, the brother orbs around, all the clustering suns and planets,
All the dazzling days, all the mystic nights with dreams,
Pioneers! O pioneers!



Thought I'd steal an idea from Valg as I tend to ramble on a bit about myself, so if you actually want to know about me here is where you'll find it. Here it goes:

My name is Aiden Avel ********* you're not getting my last name, so don't even ask. I was born in Neuruppin, Germany which is a few miles North West of Berlin. Was born in 1984, for those of you that are a little slow in math that means I'm 25 as of right now. I was born 11 years after my elder brother so, my parents were a bit older and more tolerant of the things I did. Once and a while I could swear that they looked at me as if they were wondering why I was still there. I can't say that it made me feel bad or anything, but it was a little weird having older parents. It was alright though because like I said, I got away with a lot. I don't think my parents knew I smoked until I was about 17. When I was 5 I met my best mate Jesse and we became like brothers, and that we will always be. This same year my sister was born.

We lived in Neuruppin until I was about 7 and then due to my Da's lack of business we moved to New york. New York was a culture shock at first because I couldn't speak English, the only one in my family that could was my brother. When I started school I was instantly shoved into special classes where I was given books that were crappy German translations while slowly being taught English. Through not being able to communicate well I was unable to make friends and thus became a loner.

Two years after moving to New York I received a phone call from my mate Jesse in Neuruppin and was told that He and his Mum would be moving there too. Soon after they got here Jesse was put into the same classes as me and the teachers started to depend on me to help teach him English, which I did of course. We made a few friends after that and got into the occasional mischief like all young lads. When I was about 10 years old both of our families moved west to Washington state, where we stayed until both of us graduated High School. Fresh out of the pin Jesse and I took an oath to each other, we swore that we'd always be brothers. One night he and I were up in the woods partying with some friends and we decided to make it official. There was a knife near the fire which Jesse grabbed, and proceeded to carve the nakwach symbol for brotherhood into my bicep. This I in turn did to him, to this day we are blood brothers, and have the scars to prove it.

After that I moved away to go to college in Portland, Oregon, I started attending the Art Institute of Portland for Media Arts & Animation. On my freshman year summer break Jesse and I took a road trip to San Diego, where I met a woman whose name I wont say. She came back to Portland with me and we went out for almost a year, I'd planned to marry her when we found out she was pregnant, and thus my first child was born. Jade Lynn, was born and her mother when into post pardum depression, one night almost 8 months after Jade was born she left for some groceries and never came back. About a week later I received Custody papers in the mail for Jade giving me full custody of her. I never saw her mother again. A few months went by and I got a call from Jesse who had been in police training until then, he told me that he was moving to Portland. Soon after he became my roommate and Uncle Jesse to my daughter.Soon after I managed to get a job at LAIKA animation in Portland just as they were beginning production on Coraline. I've worked there ever since.

One night Jesse was at work on his S.W.A.T. they were on a sting somewhere in Portland and He got shot in the thigh. That night I went up to the hospital and remained there for the next day. At one point I went to the cafeteria to get something to eat. Walking down the hallway I saw this beautiful woman clad in blue scrubs and a stethoscope, I was too chicken to talk to her then but about 30 minutes later in the cafeteria I saw her again. Gnawing on a carrot and reading a book with on knee pulled tight under her chin. I was watching her for quite a while, reluctant to do anything because my friend was laying wounded in a bed upstairs. Until my sister came down with my daughter to get something to eat. After giving them some money and shooing them off to the line I sat back down and looked at her again. At that point I kind of gave up and looked at a txt someone had sent me. When I looked back up there she was sitting across from me, she looked at me and said "So you going to say something or are you just gonna stare at me some more?" Soon after she and I were married and now have three children together, two twin boys Maximos Rian and Damien Michael and of course Jade Lynn because she is after all what makes a mother to her.

So here we are in early 2009 watching an Obama speech when there was a phone call around 10pm. It was my mum sobbing over the phone, I could barely understand her. My dad had died in his sleep that night, he'd fallen asleep during his favorite show, House, and just didn't wake up. Things kinda changed after that, my mom wasn't as happy as she used to be, she would sit around all day and cook, or sew. I don't think she left the house for a few weeks. I stayed with her for a month just to help her out, but I could tell things would never be the same again. My parents were never really the type to express their feelings, I guess living in Germany during WWII would do that to you. Luckily they were some of the few dark haired Germans that managed to avoid being called Jews. A few weeks later I went home and I guess things got worse for my mom because she too passed away in late June 2009. After that I went back to Germany to fulfill my mother and fathers last wishes to have their ashes spread at Castle AltDahn outside of Dahn Germany. Things have slowly gotten back to a semi normal state and here I sit typing this to you. Life seems so short when you sum it up like that. 25 years written down in an hour, I guess life really is just a momentary blip on the radar.

My life pretty much revolves around art, family, food, and cars most of the time. My mum was a painter no matter her Arthritis, or how many pies she had to bake for the thanksgiving dinner, she always found time to paint. I remember growing up I had a thing for Van Gogh, and one day while I was at school she painted one wall of my room identical to his "Starry Night" piece. From the moment I could hold a paint brush or a pencil there was always paper or a canvas in front of me. When of course my da didn't have me out in the garage helping him maintain the Shelby.


Edit: Thought I'd update this thing as my life has been a little dramatic lately... It's a very personal piece but I need to write (it's my outlet.) Recently I discovered my wife went else where for something in out relationship that I could not give her. Knowing what it is that I couldn't give her I would have been ok with it had she told me, but she did not. I was willing to attempt to forgive her, but it became a constant thorn in our relationship. It turns out my the sons that I thought were mine were in fact not. Because of this and some other things my wife and I have seperated, right now I've kind of moved on, but I have pretty much given up on women. I do not hate them, I just refuse to date them anymore. So, sorry ladies, but ain't gonna happen. [/Edit]

People sometimes think I have strange views on things, but it really doesn't matter to me, because they are my views and mine alone. For example I have been called a freak for finding mass murders like Jack the Ripper, Jeffery Dahmer, and Charles Manson are intriguing. I think it's just because people are so dense they don't take the time to understand why. It's not like I idolize the people and I sure as hell don't condone what they did, I just find that often times one can find wisdom even in the most evil of places. Charles Manson once said "Look down at me and you see a fool; look up at me and you see a god; look straight at me and you see yourself." Now if you take away the person that said them and just look at the statement itself has wisdom that for years people have completely ignored simply because Charles Manson said it.

There is another subject I wish to address in this and then I'll be done for a bit, and that is my views on religion. As most of you know I'm not a very vocal person. it'd be a phenomenon if i contributed to a class discussion. You may know that i have strong opinions on things...when i voice them. So here I go, I'm voicing.

I can not comprehend for the life of me how someone can be so blindly obedient to something that there is virtually no evidence to support. It's like a captive slave accepting their fate and not fighting back at all. I mean if you knew someone was going to force you to do work and beat you until the flesh on your back burned so badly the mere chill of the wind would send you into convulsions, would you not fight back? It is the same with religion, if you knew a book, mere pieces of parchment bound in animal skin, would cause the world to be thrust into such turmoil, such blind propaganda; if you know that people would be persecuted, beaten, and slaughtered in the name of a sentient being that no one is really 100% sure exists, would you not burn that book? For those of you who deny that the Bible, Quoran,Talmud, Upanishads, New and Old Testimonials caused no unjust deaths in this world, you are the most naive beings on this dying planet.

Such pain and suffering over what? Over the simple question of "why?" A child's question. Listen to me! All you need to know is that we are! WE ARE HERE, WE ARE ALIVE! All we can do is live, all we are meant to do is live and survive! We are no different than a dog or a monkey. We are merely ants in this universe, momentary blips on the radar. We do not need to know why, as Tolkien wrote in his novels "All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us."

Stop wasting what little time we have bickering over why, and start living!


These are of us, they are with us,
All for primal needed work, while the followers there in embryo wait behind,
We to-day's procession heading, we the route for travel clearing,
Pioneers! O pioneers!



[img:8dfb4aaa4e]http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h11/Allilli456/orblk.jpg[/img:8dfb4aaa4e]



 
 
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