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And I feel myself begin to break, shutting down and wrapped up in myself so tightly, there is barely enough air left in my lungs to survive. I'm cracking open, slipping out of the cocoon I didn't even know was crystallizing around me. I'm slipping out, dripping in the mess I have gotten myself into, gasping for the breath that won't come, the breath I no longer need, an exhalation already lodged in my throat. I mean every word I say, and I shall take nothing back. Hair in my face and blood on my lips, I am not backing down. I will break my own flesh before my walls crumble ever again. I blame no one for this, just my selfish desire to have what I want. But now I'm keeping it. I am finished, my porcelain skin stronger, my heart a solid brick of blackened soot. I will stay resilient, I will stay strong, and I will break anyone and everything that comes near. It's a flaw in the mechanism, and one that I cannot change.