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I feel like I don't belong here....everything just seems so false. I feel like the last of something that I don't even know exists......like all of this can change if I can realize a key thing and make a difference. I'm lost in more ways than one and I hate that I'm writing this down but really I don't think anyone will understand me......what's sad is that I understand people more than they know and what I know about them tears my mind apart.......without any ego I can say I'm not that great but realize that we can all be better. Not better than each other ,just different and that's what no one realizes....to become better you must become different. I hate the fact that I can't invest in anyone emotionally here. I hate people so much and wish that I could be torn away from here for a better purpose than what I am doing now. Greatness is thrusted upon people not by decision but by circumstance.....but my circumstances suck beyond belief. I wish I didn't know anything and that I could be ignorantly happy. I know that I deep down inside wouldn't want that....even in my broken down state.......even without any choices or opportunity I would still want to know what I know due to the fact I hate shallowness. I hope and despair at the same time........I'm a walking contradiction, a paradox if you will. I just want to be understood, I just want to not feel like a slave to how people think I should be but I just want a family I can love and to know I'm not alone.