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the thoughts inside my head |
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i feel like i am not welcome, the place that i hang. i feel like i'm not wanted there, and that im there, to just be pushed away by many. its like im a piece of unwanted trash, waiting to be put in the bin, or taken away from the place, as im unwanted. i feel invisible, and that i do not fit in there, its like im one of the odd ones out, like the black sheep, in a field full of white sheep. thing is...apart from my few close friends, i feel like i do not fit around the place, that is called school. its hard for me to associate with groups, as im shy when it comes to that sort of stuff, and tend to hide in the shadows.see i do not want all attention on me, i just want to be acknowledged like everyone else, (and not shoved away to be forgotten in the dustpile in the corner of the room-figuratively speaking) therefore, if i were to move away from this place where i hang, i would have nowhere to go. im grateful for the people that i talk to there, and have accepted me for who i am. and i thankyou for that, i truly do.
what compelled me to write this, was an incident that happened today, the way that one person treated me, which spoilt the rest of my day for me. i did nothing to deserve the way i was spoken to, and treated, and when i tried to resolve this incident, i continued to be ignored. and if this person is reading this, im sorry for yelling, see i tried to work things out, but you weren't listening, if things had been spoken through it would not have come to that. see, im the type of the person who likes to resolve issues by working things out by talking about things, and working things through, so its at least on steady ground. sure others may not be like that, but it would be great if people would work with me when im trying to work things out this way, instead of ignoring me and pushing me away. i just want to settle things through.
i'll admit i find it hard to socialise sometime, but thats the way i am. sure i am fussy when it comes to people i befriend, but its just the way i am.
it upsets me, and turns what once was a smile on my face, to a frown. this is because there are things that i cannot deal with as well as others. and tend to get a bit emotional at times...this is not overacting, in case many people are thinking that it is.
so, i beg you, the people where i hang, give me a chance, make me feel welcome, make me feel part of the group, sure i may be a bit different, but im friendly and i don't bite.
this post, came from deep down in my heart, and had to be posted, i had to express these thoughts running through my head.
thankyou for reading, kara.
(if anyone has anything to say about this blog, or would like to post a comment please do, i'd love to hear from you. it would help me greatly in knowing other people understand where im coming from and what im talking about.)
Chesiry · Fri Apr 20, 2007 @ 08:29am · 1 Comments |
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