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Why do I always push them away ?
The people I love,
Killed inside by my addictions…
I don’t want this.
I can’t help myself,
This suffering I don’t want to cause.
It’s introlerable,
I have no excuse and yet I continue.
Why must I put them through this strife?
I care so much for people,
But I just cannot stop.
Drugs are eating away at my life
And pushing away those around me.
I don’t want this anymore.
I need everyone around me,
I’m slowly coming to a stop,
Restricting myself in a way I never thought I would.
But it’s not enough.
I’m destroying my love
Destroying myself in the process.
I must weigh my options,
For in my mind I need both things,
These drugs…
They kill my pain,
Make me forget the hate that is felt towards me,
At the same time causing hate from the last person I want it from.
I need him.. but he can’t deal with this…
Either way I’m losing something
Something I feel I need.
I need the numbing effect…
I need a shoulder to lean on and someone to whiom I can show my feelings…
But I cannot have both,
Not the way this life is taking me.
So what am I to do?
Give up my life for the one I love?
Or continue to make them suffer with the things I do?
I love him,
But I can’t stop the addiction.
This is tearing me apart inside.
What am I to do?
 Dark-Nekojin · Sat Jan 27, 2007 @ 04:17am · 1 Comments |
