I've come home. No ones here. How strange. I have found this book open on the desk to a clean page and decided to add to this journal of my mothers. I wont read it. But I want to see my thoughts.
This place is eerie when no one is here. The soft wind blows throughout the cold room. But the wind is happy. It sounds like children playing in a far off field. They are happy. You know. I love the sounds of children.
I also love being home. I'm also somewhat afraid.
Why? not because of Zane...I have left him. I was only with him to stop this fighting and he did and will continue to keep this strange peace. I can not keep this secret within me any longer.
What secret you ask? I know you will keep it until I am ready to tell them myself. You are a fair journal.
I will tell you.
You know I love Sheguyan. I love him, more than anyone. He's not my flesh and he is not my blood or brother. But my lover. I was afraid to be here.
Why? Why was I afraid in this safe place?
I am with child. Sheguyan's child. I am so afraid to tell them. To tell her and to tell him. Its frightening almost. We did it once! only once...and yet...that was enough.
I hear the sounds of the horses at they draw near. My heart is pounding within my chest...I am so afraid. But I know I must do this.
Wish me luck Journal. I will write again soon
heart Shakura heart
 Felix B. Hellsings · Fri Feb 25, 2005 @ 05:16am · 0 Comments |
