Cuz I'm bored, I'm gonna post an e-mail my mom's cousin sent my mom, who she then sent to me!
On Flying
It was mealtime during our trip on a small airline."Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked the man seated in front of me.
"What are my choices?" he asked.
"Yes or no," she replied.
On Dieting
THE PASTA DIET IT REALLY WORKS !
1) You walka pasta da bakery.
2) You walka pasta da candy store.
3) You walka pasta da Ice Cream shop.
4) You walka pasta da table and fridge.
CONCERNED ABOUT TOO MANY CARBS IN YOUR DIET?
For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all conflicting medical studies.
1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
4. The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
On Aging
1974: Long hair
2004: Longing for hair
1974: KEG
2004: EKG
1974: Acid rock
2004: Acid reflux
1974: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor
2004: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor
1974: Seeds and stems
2004: Roughage
1974: Hoping for a BMW
2004: Hoping for a BM
1974: Going to a new, hip joint
2004: Receiving a new hip joint
1974: Rolling Stones
2004: Kidney Stones
1974: Screw the system
2004: Upgrade the system
1974: Disco
2004: Costco
1974: Passing the drivers' test
2004: Passing the vision test
1974: Whatever
2004: Depends
yellowsocks · Mon Jan 31, 2005 @ 02:07am · 2 Comments |