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why is it...
all your problems seem so important untill you hear someone elses?
does it ever make anyone feel foolish when they worry about the smallest thing, such as not being able to find a job they want...
when some kid in africa is starving to death? or dying from AIDs?
is it just me or do your own problems feel so much more important than anyone elses untill you actually stop and think?
sometimes i feel so selfish when i feel like s**t just because i cant sort my own problems out, sitting in my warm house infront of my TV and PC chatting away to people online eating the food i dont prepare myself complaining the whole time because i cant do what i want to do or cant get what i want...
while half way around the world some poor family is living in knee deep human waste in a falling down mud hut with a bag of rice to sustain them for a month waiting for care packages that wont ever come.
s**t really gets in perspective when you stop and think about it doesnt it?
but then i'll forget once i fall asleep and wake up feeling sorry for myself and repeat the pity party only to come to the same conclusion i did yesterday and spend the rest of the day mad at myself for being so uncarring only to do it again the next day, and the next and the next...
at times i wonder why we're born this way...
is free will really that good? is freedom really what we need?
maybe Orwell got it right in 1984... maybe we need big brother to watch over us?
perhaps our lives would be better lived under the watchful eye of a protector...
perhaps strict rules, guidelines and harsh penalties for any kind of wrong doings would curb if not completly disolve our wandering tendacys?
or maybe Logan's Run had it right? you reach a certain age and you die. no ifs ands or buts! you've lived your life done your worth and are now just wasting space.
move on and let the younger generations have their 15 mins of fame.
i know i tend to over think things when i feel this way...
seem to dwell on issues better left alone, trivial things, petty things but its my right isnt it?
i dont know anyone on here, you dont know me nor understand me, that isnt why i feel so comfortable speaking so frankly about these things.. i do that regardless its how i am.
everyone has their days, i just have mine less than others, but that doesnt mean they are any worse or better than others.
it doesnt mean i am emotionally inept or bottle things up.
it just means i choose to control my outbursts, and on those occasians i can not i dont pretend to have a happy face or mask my feelings. and why should i?
i guess its time to go shopping... stop my inane ramblings, my constant babble about varying subjects hardly ever connected, my ability to jump back and forth from one point to another is sure to confuse most who read this but then i doubt many read this at all, and if they do more power to you whoever you are.
and so i shall go now and wallow in my self pity for awhile longer and then take out my anger and frustratio on those i care for or call family/friends...
perhaps one day i'll decide my problems arent worth worrying about in the grand scheme of things, and then i may share my revalations with the world in hopes of a brighter future, a more stable tomorrow...
but for now i enjoy being selfish and plan on being so for a while longer...
so dear readers, be you stranger, friend or foe i bid you good day and see you on the 'morrow
 quog · Fri Nov 24, 2006 @ 01:26am · 2 Comments |
